Filmation & DC & Hanna-Barbera All Stars
by agrader
Summary: The Teen Titans take on new members from outside the DC Multiverse, which leads to all sorts of comedic crossovers and adventures involving a lot of Hanna-Barbera characters who didn't interact in their separate cartoon shows.
1. Chapter 1

The original Teen Titans were holding a meeting in their mountain headquarters. In attendance were Speedy, Wondergirl and Aqualad.

"We're missing 40% of our team," said Speedy, "Kid Flash didn't feel up to being with us anymore. He used to think he had his voice down Pat in 1967, but then he decided that he sounded too much like the Atom to be fighting crime with other teenagers."

"At least we know he's regularly patrolling Blue Valley and Central City with the Flash," said Wondergirl, "I'm more worried about the disappearance of our fearless leader."

"I've searched the seas all around Gotham City with no success, and you two have tried the town. We just don't know where he is," said Aqualad.

"If he's not on land or sea, and the Justice League can't account for him anywhere else on earth, maybe we need to look in outer space," said Wondergirl."

"I'm sure we do, but first we need to throw a membership drive," said Speedy, "I'll have my mentor pay for an advertisement to be run in newspapers right across the country advertising auditions for new members.

"That's a great idea," said Aqualad, "Maybe teenage groups will think of holding auditions for new super heroes many years from now."

Soon the auditions were held at the Teen Titans' mountain headquarters.

"Are you two together?" asked Wondergirl, noticing that two somewhat alien looking super heroes were both dressed in purple and pink with yellow initials on their chests.

"Yes. We're Zan and Jayna, the Wondertwins," said Zan.

"What can you do?" asked Speedy.

"It's quicker to show you," said Jayna, "Wondertwin powers activate … shape of a female Fleagle!"

With that the teenaged girl suddenly turned into a creature that resembled the female counterpart of the Banana Splits member known as Fleagle.

"Does that work if you don't say 'Wondertwin powers activate'?" asked Aqualad.

"I don't know. We've never sacrificed the dramatic effect in order to find out," said Zan, "Form of a beautiful ice calliope."

Zan took on the form of a musical device, which Fleaglette Jayna used to play the song "That's the drippy part of you," as Zan began to melt in the middle of the midsummer heat.

"Quick. Somebody put a bucket under him!" said Wondergirl.

Aqualad volunteered, knowing that the proximity to icy water was good for his life expectancy. Soon Zan had completely melted, and dripped into the bucket. Aqualad put the bucket of water on the table beside the monitor console, after Jayna had deactivated her power.

Zan had decided to see if his power would deactivate, so that he could resume his human form, if he didn't say 'Wondertwin powers deactivate.' It would be useful knowledge, whether or not it helped him gain membership in the Teen Titans. By the time he'd convinced himself that it wasn't going to work, Jayna could not be found to assist him, as she was busy chatting to one of the other applicants named Multil Man.

The Impossibles had come to add their ranks to the Teen Titans.

"What can you do?" asked Speedy, as Coilman prepared to try for the team too.

"I play and sing much more contemporary songs than you'd hear on a calliope," said Coil Man.

"No Coily!" shouted out Multiman, "They meant, what can you do in your Impossible Impossibles identity, not your Singing Impossibles Identity."

Coil man picked up a nearby duster and elongated his body up to the roof, keeping his feet on the ground. He was able to dust the otherwise unreachable roof of Titans Lair in record time.

"As you can see, my power makes me a natural choice for SPRING cleaning your headquarters," said Coil Man.

"Not bad," said Speedy, "But we already use Amazon Cleaning Services. Donna got us a good deal. Who's next? How about you, young lady. What's your name?"

"I'm Wendy," said the junior Super Friend.

"And what super powers do you have?" asked Aqualad.

"None," said Wendy.

"Then why should we admit you to the Titans?" asked Wondergirl.

"Because I've worked for a while with your missing leader Robin, when he's taken sabbaticals from Titan duties to help as a Super Friend. I can get us access to the Bat vehicles not currently in use, and we could use their ability to home in on the transmitter in Robin's utility belt," said Wendy.

"Can you get us to the Batrocket?" asked Speedy, "We're hoping to take our new team into space to search for Robin."

"It's as good as done," said Wendy.

"You're on the team," said Speedy.

In the mean time the third Impossible named Fluid Man was practicing his transformation into water, while waiting for his turn to come up. As luck would have it, he fell into the bucket containing Zan the Wondertwin, who was still unable to reverse his transformation. The two were mixed together uncontrollably, and were unable to separate. Now Fluid Man was as helpless as Zan to reform himself. Neither of them could even simulate vocal cord sounds and speak in that form anymore.

Multiman demonstrated his power of extending into several duplicates of himself.

"Rejected," said Speedy, "We've got an imbalance in the genders of our members already, which has had me competing with Kid Flash and Robin and our visitors Hawk and Dove for Wonderdoll's attentions, until I finally won her over. The last thing we want is a guy who can turn into too many guys."

Among the other waiting applicants were the Teen Angels: Brenda, Taffy and Deedee. At this point they had not yet discovered the frozen Captain Caveman from prehistoric times, who was still frozen in a cave. (He had fled Bedrock in embarrassment after Wilma Flintstone and Betty Rubble had been unable to print a retraction of The Daily Granite's claim that Captain Caveman had somehow married and fathered a child named Cavey Junior way back when Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble were kids. His wife had eventually resurfaced to take on full custody of Cavey Junior, while Captain Caveman froze for centuries and centuries. But the results of that would not be discovered for a couple of years longer). So for now, the three Teen Angels had no super hero partner to work with and hoped to join the Teen Titans.

They had had to walk to Titans lair on a hot day and were feeling quite exhausted, as well as hot and sunburnt.

"Who's next"" asked Wonder Girl.

A teenaged boy stepped forward with a dog.

"I am," said the boy.

"Show us what you can do then," said Aqualad.

The boy put his arms up in front of his face, crossed them over, and the existing Titans noticed that he had arm bands on both wrists. He knocked them together, and became a more muscular and taller boy, with a longer hairstyle. The boy then put his hands out in front of him and knocked the bands together again. Waves of coloured light seemed to flow out from the bracelets towards the god, who turned into a lion.

"More people with transformation powers," said Speedy.

"Hey, no fair. I did it first!" said Jayna.

"The transformation is not the power, but merely a means to embrace it," said the boy, "I am Young Samson, and this is my dog Goliath. Between us, we can approximate all of Superman's powers, as we'll proceed to demonstrate."

The next audition was for Deedee, the brightest member of the Teen Angels, who represented the trio and attempted to demonstrate her power of solving mysteries. It was deemed insufficient for membership in the Teen Titans at that time.

Brenda and Taffy came over to join her, each drinking from jugs of cordial they'd made up.

"That looks great," said Deedee.

"I knew it'd be worth bringing cordial powder satchels with us for this trip," said Taffy, finishing the last bit of her jug full of juice, "That's the thirstiest I've ever been."

"I'll go and make mine up too now. Are there any more jugs left?" said Deedee.

"You can take mine," said Brenda, "But you'll have to use tap water. There's none left in the bucket."

"Bucket?" asked Jayna suddenly, "What bucket?"

"The one with the pink lemonade in it. It didn't taste of anything. So I added our cordial.

"PINK lemonade!" said Jayna, "It looks like I won't qualify for membership in the Teen Titans at all now."

"But I saw Fluey headed for that bucket too!" said Multiman,

"Oh dear!" said Brenda, "It looks like we just mixed up Cordialman with a Wondertwist of lime."

"That's a shame," said Wondergirl, "Aqualad, make a memo to be addressed at our next meeting: We need to label our buckets. One for drinking water and the other for transformed applicants for membership."

After viewing a few more try outs, Speedy, Wondergirl and Aqualad conferred and made their decisions.

"Alright, we are now pleased to announce that the new members of the Teen Titans are Wendy and Young Samson, restoring our numbers to five active regular members as before … and apparently one rather necessary dog," said Speedy.

"We never had a chance against them," said Multiman, "I think we should form the Team of Tryout Titans in our own right."

"That could be a precedent for the future too," said Aqualad.

"Great idea, Multy," said Coil Man, "I'll be in it."

"So will I," said Jayna, although I don't know what use I'll be now."

"We'll see you around then," said Aqualad, and watched the newly formed team of rejected applicants leaving, albeit without Zan and Fluid Man.

"Well team, shall we head for the Batrocket?" asked Wondergirl.

"Let's do it," said Speedy, "How are you new members fixed for transport?

"Goliath and I have a motor scooter," said Young Samson.

"I'll fly as usual," said Wonder Girl.

"Wendy and Aqualad can come with me in the Titan Copter," said Speedy, "Wendy can navigate, since she knows the way. The rest of you follow from the ground or air."

Soon the Teen Titans arrived at the Hall of Justice. Wendy let them into the Batrocket's launch silo, and they climbed aboard. Soon they were flying through space, until they came to a planet with purple sky and pink swirls instead of separated clouds.

Suddenly the Batrocket was struck by laser fire.

"How do we fight back?" asked Speedy.

"I barely know how to fly the thing," said Wendy, "Don't ask me how to use the weapons."

"We're in the planet's breathable atmosphere now," said Wondergirl, "Are you up for a touch of mid-air combat, Young Samson?"

"I will be," said Samson and snapped his bracelets together, initializing his Toth-ian transformation into the super powered Samson. He and Wondergirl left their airlock and flew at the attacking spacecraft, which was still firing on the Batrocket. It had a skull and crossbones emblem decorating its hull.

"I wonder if my old enemy Baron Von Skull made it into outer space," said Samson.

"Can you bring him down, while I deflect his laser shots to protect the Batrocket?" asked Wondergirl.

"How can you do that?" asked Samson.

"My bracelets have a different power," said Wondergirl.

"I'll do my best," said Samson, and leaped onto the top of the spacecraft. Wondergirl flew into the path of the laser fire and positioned her Feminum bracelets. The laser fire bounced off and dissipated harmlessly in the air.

Samson tore a hole in the roof and jumped down into the spacecraft. A small man with a helmet and moustache came running away from the control panel, while the other man (with a full beard and helmet too) managed to land the spacecraft in one piece. Through the cockpit they could all see the Batrocket landing close by.

"I'll drown you in a Venus volcano!" said the little man, pummelling Samson's shin with his fists.

"You can't do that!" said the Captain, "e's not an itty bitty kid. E's that galactic decorator we called to install our skylight in the ship months ago. Them's told us they wouldn't send 'im out until we came up with the deposit, an' we couldn't raise the money without succeedin' in getting' the map from thems bloomin' Space Kidettes. We lost 'em, while we were trackin' 'em to this here planet."

"So why were you firing on us?" asked Samson.

"We wuz so used to firing at the Space Kidettes, that me partner Static's trigger finger just couldn't break 'is 'abit," said the Captain, "I'm Cap'n Skyhook, an' much obliged I am to you for ending me need to be runnin' after them bloomin' Kidettes. We'll be leavin' you now, an' you 'ave me word as a pirate an' a violent man, that I'll neither be givin' you nor them Space Kidettes any more trouble."

Samson left the ship, where his dog Goliath came bounding over to greet him.

"Skyhook was a brilliant pirate, Goliath," said Samson, "But one who used his skills in the pursuit of a skylight. Maybe one day someone will invent a laser armed spaceship that we can all use for blasting litter like Plutonian junk food wrappers off the edges of asteroids."

In the meantime, Wondergirl, Wendy and Speedy had been greeted by four much younger children and a dog.

"I'm Scooter, and this is Snoopy, Countdown, Jenny and our dog Pupstar," said one of the childen, "We're the Space Kidettes."

"Aren't they cute?" said Wondergirl.

"Even more so than the Balloon People that landed in my backyard once, on an early adventure with the Super Friends," said Wendy, "Couldn't you just take them home and put them on the mantelpiece."

"You're not so bad yourself," said Countdown, "Would you care for a cuddle?"

Wendy laughed.

"Why not?" she said, and picked Countdown up and gave him a hug.

"People think, that just because we're kids, we have no more depth or maturity than a cartoon character," said Scooter, "But we're really quite sensitive."

He used his rocket pack to jet upwards, until he was level with Wondergirl's face, and then kissed her cheek.

Wondergirl blushed, and returned the favour.

"Now hold on there a minute, Wonderdoll," said Speedy, "Are you going to cast me off with the slings and arrows of outrageous foresome?"

"Oh don't be jealous, lover," said Wondergirl, "They're just children trying to be friendly."

"I don't know about that," said Wendy, "This one's got definite possibilities in a few years."

"I guess that leaves you and me Jenny," said Snoopy and gave her a hug.

"Look. Captain Skyhook's leaving, just like that," said Jenny, looking over Snoopy's shoulder, "And look who's coming."

Samson had reverted to his non-super form, and was walking towards the gathering of Teen Titans and Space Kidettes.

Goliath came bounding over, still a dog, and instantly made friends with Pupstar.

"Is there anything we can do to thank you for solving our problems with Captain Skyhook and Static?" asked Countdown.

"We came here in search of our original leader," said Speedy, and took out a photograph of Robin, "Have any of you Space Kidettes seen him at all?"

"I'm afraid not," said Scooter.

"Nor me," said Countdown.

"I haven't," said Snoopy.

"Does he have a girlfriend?" asked Jenny.

"Jenny!" said Snoopy.

"Just teasing," giggled Jenny.

"It's just as well neither Goliath nor Pupstar are female," said Aqualad, "I think we'll have to…"

Suddenly Aqualad became very dizzy.

"You've been out of the water too long," said Wondergirl.

"We have to get him to water fast," said Speedy.

"We can take him to the Space Mermaid in our craft," said Jenny, "She's got all the water around her that he'll need."

"Okay. We'll follow in the Batrocket," said Speedy, "Come on, Titans."

"I want to go with Wendy," said Countdown.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" said Speedy.

"I don't mind," said Wendy.

"What about me?" asked Scooter.

"Over my red-" began Speedy.

"Let them come. It'll help make room for Aqualad in their ship," said Wondergirl, "They've got to get him there first. They know the way."

"Oh alright. Let's get going, Titans," said Speedy.

Samson carried Aqualad to the Space Kidettes' craft, and set him down comfortably draped over the seats usually occupied by Scooter and Countdown.

Then the Batrocket took the Teen Titans on a flight which closely followed the Space Kidettes, until they reached the Space Mermaid's territory, and lowered Aqualad in.

After a lengthy swim, Aqualad felt revived enough to return to earth.

"Come and see us again," said Scooter.

"Especially you Wendy," said Countdown."

The Teen Titans bid farewell to the Space Kidettes and flew the Batrocket back to earth. There was only one small problem. They still couldn't find Robin.

"Hi, I'm Lou Scheimer, and this is Bill Hanna. In today's story, Brenda and Taffy learned that mixing cordial with pink lemonade is not only bad for you. It can also be very bad for the pink lemonade. So remember kids, if you see an unfamiliar drink, and you're not sure about it, stop, think, and ask the local super heroes if they're missing any applicants."


	2. Chapter 2

Scooter and Countdown were really missing Wondergirl and Wendy, even weeks after their adventure with the Teen Titans. They finally decided to head for earth and ask the Teen Titan girls for more cuddles. After all, they'd been flying around space alone ever since their parents had been brainwashed by Elrath's Intergalactic Enslaver Machine and commanded to go out and search the Crimson Zone Planet for anything to improve Elrath's dress sense. When Meteor Man and Vapor Man had rescued Gravity Girl from Elrath and had him destroy the Enslaver with his Leveller, they had freed all his other Space Slaves, but had not been aware of the parents of the space kidettes, who were still to this day out looking for clothes for Elrath.

The Space Kidettes babysitter had worked around the clock as a live in Nanny for weeks, before tiring of waiting for the parents to return and pay her fees. She'd finally left the kids to their own devices and was never seen again. The Space Kidettes had been exploring space and living together in their clubhouse and outwitting Captain Skyhook and Static ever since, until the Teen Titans had come along and Young Samson had persuaded Captain Skyhook to leave their planet and enjoy his new skylight. So now the Space Kidettes headed for earth, in the hopes of asking Wendy or Wondergirl to leave the Teen Titans and become their new Nanny.

Meanwhile on earth, Debbie, Mark and Tinker were on a high speed journey from one city to another in Speed Buggy, the world's fastest talking car, when a boy in a red costume with yellow lightning marks on it actually came running alongside them.

"Far out!" said Debbie.

"It must be the Flash!" said Mark.

"No. He's much younger than the Flash," said Tinker.

"I'm Kid Flash, his sidekick," said the boy, "I'm on my way home to Blue Valley after a mission with Flash in Central City."

"We're making the same trip," said Mark, "We were in Central City, where the Flash and Batman were trying to recover the Batmobile, after one of the Outsider's unusual attacks had given the Batmobile a mind of its own. The Batmobile had dared Speed Buggy to a drag race, and Speedy couldn't help himself. Finally the Flash had raced after both vehicles, and cured the Batmobile with a side effect of his super speed aura. We were still worried about Speedy's uncontrollable urge to drag race the Batmobile in the first place."

"Hold on a minute," said Kid Flash, "I think you kids have got us all mixed up. Like another early fan of the Teen Titans, you might have thought Speedy had the same super speed powers as me. He's actually an archer, and I've left the Teen Titans for the moment anyway."

"An archer called Speedy?" said Tinker, "That's quite a coincidence. Our car's called Speed Buggy. We call him Speedy for short. That's who we were talking about."

"Oh. Small world," said Kid Flash.

"Well to go on about Central City," said Mark, "We asked Batman to apply his great powers of deduction to Speedy's apparent naughty streak. Batman examined Speed Buggy and discovered that some residue of the Outsider's influence had affected Speed Buggy, when Speedy had come in contact with the thinking Batmobile. Batman sprayed it with his Bat-vehicle-cleaner-upper gas and our car was good as new. Now our next stop is Blue Valley. We've got a race there soon."

"I'd like to see that," said Kid Flash, "Mind if I pace myself to the speed of your car, so that we can chat on the way?"

"Not at all," said Debbie, with stars forming in her eyes, as they tended to do with all teenage girls who had adventure after adventure in unusual contexts with the same regular male friends and never formed a serialized relationship with any of them.

"Pour on a bit more gas, Speedy ol' buddy," said Tinker, "We're behind time after your little drag race with the Batmobile."

"Room-a-zoom-zoom!" said Speed Buggy, and accelerated a little.

Kid Flash began to run faster too, and talked mainly with Debbie.

Elsewhere Birdman had just defeated Reducto, who had fallen into the path of his own reducing ray. Reducto kept shrinking until he was too small to see. Birdman turned off the ray, and was about to fly off, when a beautiful woman came into the room.

"Who are you?" asked Birdman.

"I'm Mrs Beatrice Reducto. Where's my husband now?" she asked, "It's bad enough that he built this device to try to help me lose weight, but when he tested it on the dog and found that it only reduces things in a way that retains their original relative proportions, he never used it on me. He was so disgruntled, that he turned to crime. I told him I'd leave him if he didn't stop reducing national institutions and take me to a movie. I called the government department known as I-1, explained the problem, and asked if they could help. They said that they'd send Dr Benton Quest to work out a way to deal with his reduction gun, but Dr Quest was busy trying to work out whether his wife was killed before the Mystery of the Lizard Men or during Jonny's Golden Quest. It seems you found a way of stopping him first. I'm sure he's just misunderstood. He won't give you any more trouble if I take him to the same marriage counsellor that Race Bannon and his ex-wife tried, when they were having stressful trouble trying to remember whether her name was Jade or Stella."

"I'm afraid it's too late for that, Mrs Reducto," said Birdman.

"Can't you Super Heroes ever learn to forgive?" asked Beatrice.

"It's not that," said Birdman, "During our battle, he sort of … err … fell into the path of his own reducing ray gun and shrank to tiny size. Come to think of it, I'd better turn the thing off."

"Can you try to recover him somehow?" asked Mrs Reducto.

"Not on my own," said Birdman, "I could have you shrink me, but there's no way to reverse the effects of his reducing device. Let me call Falcon 7 for help."

Birdman looked at the tiny video screen on his wrist communicator and contacted Falcon 7 and explained the problem.

"There is one group who might be able to help you," said Falcon 7, "They're a single father family of free agents who occasionally lend their services to the government. They're casually known as the Micro Venturers. They're not used to combat situations, but now that you've defeated Reducto, we could ask them to come over to Mrs Reducto's place and help you."

"Thank you, Falcon 7," said Birdman.

Soon Birdman and Beatrice Reducto were joined by Professor Carter, and his son Mike and daughter Jill. They took the Micro Reducer out of their dune buggy and set it up in front of the place where Birdman had seen Reducto disappear.

"Birdman, Mike and I will make the trip," said Professor Carter, "You stay with Mrs Reducto and activate the Micro Reducer, Jill. In two hours, set it in reverse. If we've found Reducto, he'll be returned to normal size with us."

"Wait! You can't do that!" said a woman's voice.

They turned to see a beautiful young red haired woman in the room.

"How did you get in here?" asked Professor Carter, "We were the only ones invited."

"I'm Jesse Quest from the future. Jonny Quest will meet me in his teenage years, and after a lot of adventures together, we'll finally grow up and get married. I came to warn you not to try to retrieve Reducto. If you do succeed, then history as I know it documents the way Birdman, Reducto and a number of Birdman's enemies will end up litigating ridiculous lawsuits in legal careers in my time."

"How could that happen?" asked Jill.

"As I know the history I've come back to change," said Jesse Quest, "When Birdman risked his own future career as a super hero to try to rescue Reducto from the largely self-inflicted diminished circumstances in which he found himself, most people (even most super criminals) stopped taking super heroes seriously. The super heroes found themselves out of work and forced to seek new careers. Birdman was looking for a sign of what kind of career direction to go in, when his eagle Avenger flew past his window one night. Then Birdman thought to himself, 'White Collar Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot. I need a career that will strike fear into their hearts. I have it. I'll become a legal eagle.' With that his career as an outrageous lawyer was born. Birdman never flew for Inter Nation Security again, and I just can't tell you in polite company what happened to Falc-"

"That's a wild story, young lady. Give me one reason why I should believe you're even from the future at all," said Birdman.

"I'd better whisper it to you in private," said Jesse Quest.

"We'll be back from the corner of the room in a minute," said Birdman … , "Alright, you can talk now."

"Jeff Lenberg's book, 'Encyclopedia of Super Hero Trivia Too Sensitive to be Released While the Heroes Still Had Active Careers' documents the fact that your secret identity is Ray Randall."

"It is," said Birdman, seeing that there was no point in denying it to a woman who had learned it in the future.

"Yet only a woman from the future could also know your darkest secret of all: the fact that your middle name is Harvey."

"How could you have possibly learned that?" asked Birdman in an aggravated hissing whisper, "I would never have divulged that to anyone, not even in the future."

"You did worse than that. In my time you're practicing law under the name Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law," said Jesse Quest, and took a bunch of folded papers out of her pocket, "Here are some of your case files to convince you."

After looking at the briefs for the 'Birdboy and Gravity Girl Sucking Face Case', Birdman was convinced. Such a future event could never be allowed to come about.

"We can't go after your husband. I'm sorry," said Birdman.

"Just as well," said Mike Carter, "It would have made us late for the big race in Blue Valley. We're entering our dune buggy… at full size of course."

The Micro Venturers headed away from Central City as well.

"Both Birdman and the Flash have operated in Central City since 1967," said Mike, "Why have they never worked on the same adventures?"

"It's probably something to do with the fact that Inter Nation Security have secured the rights to Birdman, but couldn't get the Flash as well," said Professor Carter, "Jill, you'd better radio ahead and tell the Blue Valley race officials that we were delayed on a mission for Inter Nation Security, which has fallen through anyway. Tell them to delay the race until we get there, if it's at all possible."

Back in Reducto's lab, in his Central City home, Mrs Reducto was losing her patience.

"Thanks to you I won't get my husband back, Mrs Quest," said Beatrice, "How did you get into my house anyway?"

"You're asking me!" said Jesse, "You had a whole dune buggy in the lab."

"Well you saw them go. They used their Micro Reducer to briefly make the car small enough to get through the doorway on the way in and on the way out. But I distinctly recall locking the door after we let them in. How did you get in?"

"I used Questworld's time travel program," said Jesse, "Participants absorb energy from Tachyon particles and manifest physically in the past, not just Questworld. All I had to do was time travel directly into your home."

"Well take your tacky particles and get out!" said Mrs Reducto.

Jesse Quest vanished back into the future.

"I'm sorry. He was one of my most challenging enemies, but he was still a ladies man," said Birdman.

"That's the last straw!" said Mrs Reducto, "All this happened because my husband thinks I'm overweight. Now he's shrunken out of existence, I'll bet. It's over. As far as I'm concerned I'm either a widow or a divorcee now."

"There's a lesson here about the vain shallow tastes that television conditioning imputes into the minds of some men," said Birdman, "I think you've got a great figure, and I'm pleased that his device didn't work the way he'd planned."

"I don't suppose you'd care to stay for tea," said Beatrice.

"I can't," said Birdman, "I'm on an important mission next, to matchmake Birdboy and Birdgirl, so that Birdboy can go on a double date with me and one of Medusa's reformed Amazonian-like women. They're well built too, and somewhat taller than me. I'd better shout my name out and fly off now. Birrrrrrrrrrrrrrdmannnnnnnn!"

As Birdman flew into the air, Mrs Reducto suddenly began to wonder why the sky always seemed to look yellow when he was around.

"That's the reality of animated starter wives!" she thought, "All the good ones are either too busy fighting crime or off on dates with reformed Amazonian-like women. I hope I never see this ridiculous contraption again."

With that she tossed the reduction gun out the window. It hit a tree, which knocked its switch back into the fire position, and fell down into another branch and ended up firing out between the leaves in a diagonally upward direction, with nothing in its path to shrink.

Meanwhile Reducto was not dead, but continued to shrink and shrink and shrink … until he fell into the Micro World of Dr Doom.

Tinker, Mark, Debbie, Kid Flash and Speed Buggy arrived at the Blue Valley Racing Circuit, and were informed that there would be a delay, as the Carter family entry was delayed by an important mission.

"After all we did to get here on time," said Mark.

"Let's go to the cocktail lounge and meet some of the other racing contestants," said Tinker, "You're welcome to join us, Kid Flash."

"Don't mind if I do," said Kid Flash.

Inside, they recognised a familiar group.

"It's Scooby Doo's gang," said Debbie, "Hi Velma. Remember us?"

"Sure we do," said Velma, "You helped us solve the mystery of the Weird Winds of Winona. We should have guessed you'd be entering Speedy in the race."

"Are you here to watch?" asked Mark, "You could hang out with Kid Flash. He's com to see it as well."

"No. We're entering the Mystery Machine," said Fred.

"But most of the entries are dune buggies, and they're all fast cars. How will you compete with that?" asked Tinker.

"We met an old friend of Young Samson's named Professor Cardwell, who was trying to work out a way to make use of his old robot Rogor, after Dr Zuran gained control of it and set it against Samson and Goliath," said Daphne, "Shaggy and the Professor managed to incorporate Rogor's parts into the Mystery Machine's engine, so that it now runs at least as fast as any racing vehicle, but not on conventional fuel. It now runs on Scooby Snacks."

"Amazing!" said Debbie, "And who are your new friends?"

"This is April Holland," said Shaggy, "And Augie and Skip."

"So how did you all meet up?" asked Tinker.

"Well it's like this," said Skip, "We had spent a year hanging around with two spirits that we thought were the ghosts of Jonathan Muddlemore and his cat Boo. Then we met the greatest ghost debunkers in the world, namely Scooby's friends here."

"Scooby and Elmo soon became great bone digging buddies," said Augie.

"Anyway," added April, "The Scooby Gang carry a Bible in the Mystery Machine. They showed us the verses from Ecclesiastes, that prove that the dead are in the ground and know nothing, and will remain in a sleep state until Jesus comes again to raise those who chose to follow him to eternal life and to raise those who rejected him to eternal death. They told us that, in the midst of all this cartoonesque comedy and satire, they'd gone to a Seventh Day Adventist church and learned the truth about the state of the dead. We found it hard to be convinced of this, since Mudsy seemed to be a friendly Funky Phantom and had helped us solve lots of mysteries."

"But the Scooby Gang told us how they'd solved many more, without the aid of a 200 year old ghost. They went onto explain that it wasn't the real ghost of Jonathan Muddlemore, but a demon masquerading as the dead spirit of someone, so that it could lead us into the hard core world of the occult," said Skip, "We weren't really convinced until we saw passages from Revelation and the verse in Leviticus which said that the Lord our God is disgusted with anyone who attempts to communicate with the spirits of the dead instead of turning to him. We're all Christians now. We put Mudsy to the Biblical test and asked him to acknowledge the name of Jesus and his death and resurrection for the forgiveness of sinners who accepted Him. For the first time, Mudsy went silent and tuned out, and we have never seen him since, nor Boo either."

"Wow!" said Debbie, "I think we'd better start reading our Bibles and going to church too."

The race eventually began, with Skip, Augie and April and Elmo racing in their dune buggy, the Micro Venturers racing in their dune buggy, the Scooby Gang racing in their Mystery Machine, and Mark, Debbie and Tinker racing in Speed Buggy. There was one other contestant. Enraged by the Christian conversions of the Scooby Gang and the former associates of the Funky Phantom, Satan manifested physically on earth and made a deal with the Devilish Dragster (an old enemy of the Impossibles, who was ready and willing to listen to the Devil's voice). The Devilish Dragster let himself be taken over by demons, who then used him in a plan to try to run the Mystery Machine and Skip's team's dune buggy into fatal crashes in the pits.

In his manic demon possessed driving state, the Devilish Dragster caused the Micro Venturers' dune buggy to crash, taking the lives of Professor Carter and his daughter Jill. Kid Flash raced in from the spectator stands, and circled their buggy at high speed, creating an air vacuum that put out the fire. Mike was not burned but needed to reach hospital immediately. Kid Flash raced him off to Blue Valley hospital, rushing to complete the journey before his arms had time to tire of holding Mike Carter.

Back at the race, keeping a direct prayer line open to God, the Scooby Gang prayed for Jesus' protection, having recalled how God saved Daniel's friends from the Lion's Den and the Fiery Furnace when they refused to worship a pagan image and stayed loyal to God. Augie's team also prayed, remembering how God parted the waters of the Red Sea to save his once enslaved people from the pursuit of the Egyptian army.

Kid Flash raced back in time, to take on the Devilish Dragster himself. Running alongside the Dragster's vehicle, Kid Flash was able to jump onto it and snatch the key, bringing the car to a complete halt. The Dragster was held by the race officials until the police arrived.

The other racers made it safely through the race, which was won by Speed Buggy.

Tinker asked April Holland out on a date after the race, and they were both soon kissing, to the consternation of Augie, who eventually turned his attentions to Velma, who liked him too. Skip was feeling a little despondent at loosing April to Tinker, but he thought Tinker was a nice guy, and wondered if Debbie was seeing Mark. Eventually Debbie made the moves on Skip herself, and they paired up happily too. Mark asked Daphne out, and she responded.

With so many cross-team romances going on, they were approached by two television producers named Bill Hanna and Jo Barbera and asked if they would like to have their courtship and weddings worked into the first reality TV show for teenagers.

All of the couples accepted, and the two producers formed Hanna-Barbera and launched their reality show: The Saturday Superstar Weddings.

The first episodes were:

Tinker and April

Augie and Velma

Mark and Daphne

Debbie and Skip

The show's phenomenal ratings soon brought other single adventurers on as guest stars to find dates and court and marry them in future episodes, featuring the following couples:

Shaggy and Teen Angel Taffy (on her condition that Shaggy Rogers shaved. No wonder she never showed any interest in Captain Caveman after they discovered him later.)

Buzz Conroy and Teen Angel Brenda (whose engagement was set to last several years, as Buzz was only 12 at the time they met).

Hadji Quest and Teen Angel Dee Dee

Fred and Gaga Galore (whom he'd met when Scooby Doo's cousin Dynomutt invited them to a thank you dinner hosted by Gaga Galore, Fifi Foray, and Sarah Shower Fawcett, after these three women had all been rescued from Blue Falcon's enemy Madam Ape Face).

The show continued to score high ratings for a while, and the marriages would go on to last (including Buzz Conroy's when he was old enough to start it).

Mike Carter had inherited his father's house and the Micro Reducer, but the Dune Buggy was beyond repair. So he bought a new car and wondered where to go from there.

In the meantime, the Space Kidettes flew their small craft down to earth, and decided to land in the first garden that they saw … and they flew right into the path of Reducto's old raygun, which Beatrice was still unaware was jammed in a tree firing into thin air up until then. The Space Kidettes and their craft were reduced to tiny size. As they lost control of their ship in the shock of what had happened to them, it spiralled out of control, crashed into the raygun, knocking the switch back into the off position. The gun remained where it was, while Scooter got control of the ship and managed to fly it through the window and land it on Mrs Beatrice Reducto's carpet. She had long since left the room and cuddled up with a good book in front of the fire.

Reducto descended into the Microverse, now out of the range of his own weapon and reduced to the size of a tiny man even compared to the exponentially tiny citizens, and landed on the shoulder of Princess Pearla, daughter of the King of a Micro World.

"Where did you come from?" asked Pearla, as she sat in her chamber.

"I'm an earthling!" said Reducto.

"An earthling. I understand you must be from the same world as that tyrant Doctor Victor Von Doom," said Pearla.

"Sure. We both went to Secret Sinister Shrinking School together," said Reducto, "Although I didn't know he'd had success in getting this far."

"He's gone now," said Pearla, "The Fantastic Four defeated him after he imprisoned me and brought them here. They're all back on your world now."

"Do you mean he had the means to get back?" asked Reducto.

"Once he did, but my father the king had the machine destroyed. How did you find your way here?"

Reducto was such a mad scientist that he shamelessly related his blackmail of the American government, his battle with Birdman and his subsequent accident, even though he was confessing it all to a giant princess who had him on her shoulder.

"Well I'm stuck here then," said Reducto

"And at that size," said Pearla, "I don't think you'll prove much of a danger to my people now. What do you think you'll do with yourself?"

"I did have another career in mind before I decided to become a mad scientist," said Reducto, "Do you people have any opening for lawyers."

Soon, with the King's permission, Reducto had set up Micro World Solicitor and Attorney, with his business card containing the slogan 'No Job too Small.'

Back on earth, the Space Kidettes used their rocket packs to fly around separately and explore Beatrice Reducto's house. They each went into separate rooms, wondering if the owner had a way of restoring their size.

Jenny had taken Pupstar with her. Scooter and Countdown had gone off in another direction. Snoopy flew into the kitchen, where he smelt something very spicy coming from the stove. He flew closer and saw that a warm home made curry had just finished cooling down on the stove. There was nobody in the room, as Mrs Reducto was reading by the fire, while she waited for the curry she'd cooked to cool down enough to enable her to eat it.

Snoopy flew over the pot and enjoyed the smell of the food, as he looked down at mincemeat, rice, pineapple pieces, capsicum and some spices. Then the unexpected happened. The incredibly powerful vapours from Mrs Reducto's curry wafted upwards and interfered with Snoopy's rocket pack. As it conked out, Snoopy fell and landed softly in the curry. Now the walls of the pot were all around him, and he could not see out. The rocket pack began overheating, because of its direct contact with the curry powder. Snoopy quickly took it off, as well as his helmet and let them sink to the bottom, while he moved towards the centre of the pot. The curry was a little looser there, and he found himself sinking a little more. Caught with his mouth open, he got a sticky piece of rice stuck in his mouth and could not move it.

Soon afterwards, Snoopy saw a woman's hand and a wooden spoon approaching the pot. The spoon began to stir the curry, as Snoopy looked up and saw Beatrice looking down into the curry. Snoopy was unable to speak, with the rice still stuck. He watched as he was stirred in with the mixture, in all directions, now so covered in curry himself that he was unrecognizable.

Snoopy saw the woman scoop up some of the curry onto the wooden spoon and eat it, to see if it was the right temperature. It felt comfortably warm to Snoopy. The woman was satisfied that it was the right temperature to serve and licked the spoon a few times until it was clean. Then the pot was lifted up high into the air and placed down somewhere else in another room. Soon he saw a huge ladle come down and scoop up a large serving of the curry, including Snoopy himself, and ladle it into a bowl.

Now he could see that he was on a dining table. She put the pot down on a place mat, and sat down at the table. He was stuck too tight to move quickly and noticeably, as he looked up at her spooning curry into her mouth. Her third spoonful included him, and brought him up towards her mouth. Peeking out from a mess of rice, meat, sauce and spices, he saw the woman's mouth open.

He struggled to try to shake the rice piece out of his tiny mouth, but had limited success in moving it at all, until he finally swallowed it. He manoeuvred his hands into a position to try to push the food away from his face, so that he could call out to her, but he was now too close to her mouth for her eyes to see his struggles.

As Snoopy watched and struggled, he saw her tongue come out of her mouth, and then felt the spoon move closer.

"Oh no!" he thought, "I've run out of time."

Snoopy was spooned onto her tongue, which then drew him into her mouth. He quickly rolled around and used her tongue to clean some of the thicker bits of curry off himself. He was still coated in sauce, but now had more freedom of movement. Then he felt her tongue moving him! She was using her tongue to try to manoeuvre him into a position suitable for her teeth to start biting! She didn't know that she had a shrunken boy inside her mouth. By now the curry he'd dislodged from himself had made it to her throat. Yet she was concerned by the difficulty that she was having in sliding the bit (that she didn't know was Snoopy) into a suitable position to finish the mouthful. He slid to the back of her mouth and grabbed onto her teeth, holding them by placing his hands in the spaces between her back teeth.

Snoopy waited for her mouth to open, so that he could now call out to her, as his body continued to drip sauce onto her tongue and down her throat. Then he saw her mouth open, letting in the light again. There was something else though. Before he could say anything, her head tilted back a little, and a huge flood of water came rushing into her mouth.

"It must be stuck in my teeth," thought Mrs Reducto, "Maybe a drink of water will help wash it down."

She emptied the whole glass of water into her mouth, which thoroughly cleaned her tongue and Snoopy as well, but failed to dislodge him as he held tight to her teeth and felt the water rushing past him. It was impossible to speak without risking drowning himself in her mouth. He waited for it to stop, and then her mouth closed. When it opened again, a second wave of water hit him, and disappeared down her throat.

"She thinks I'm a morsel of mincemeat caught in her teeth," thought Snoopy.

Then to his surprise, Mrs Reducto solved her problem by suddenly opening her mouth and reaching in with her finger and pushing him into her throat before he could do or say anything. He slid quickly down her throat, as he was only a young child even before being reduced. He was too small to require her to do any gulping in order to swallow him. Snoopy was on his way to her stomach.

Elsewhere, at Big City Rocket Base, Sarah Shower Fawcett was being trained by the Twelve Million Dollar Man to be America's first woman in space.

"It's bad enough you put back our training schedule to host that dinner for Blue Falcon and his friends," said the 12 Million Dollar Man, "But if you don't shape up you'll never be ready for space travel!"

"I'd have thought you'd have been glad I was able to show my appreciation to Blue Falcon and Dynomutt," said Sarah Shower Fawcett, "You did once make friends with Dynomutt at Eric Von Flick's studio."

"Sure, but we don't have time for that now. Your response timing is off, and it would be easier to train an Ape."

"You'd be doing that very thing, if it weren't for Dog Wonder," said Sarah.

"Alright, let's go and get dinner," said the 12 Million Dollar Man."

Soon they were seated at the Big City Diner.

"Major Shower Fawcett, I want you to understand, that when I'm rough on you in that space flight simulator, it's only for the sake of our marriage. Our family makes $55000 a year, and I make $50000 of it on the Twelve Million Dollar Man TV series. It's hard enough with the fact that it changed networks and producers after Blue Falcon put Von Flick in jail, which didn't exactly make me feel like going that dinner you put on for Blue Falcon and Dynomutt. I want you home cooking my dinner, not preparing to fly into space," said the 12 Million Dollar Man.

"We've been through this so many times already," said Sarah, "I thought we'd have gotten it out of our systems, when we played fictional counterparts of ourselves tackling this very issue in a crossover story filmed as episodes of two of Von Flick's TV serieses, before he decided to get into movies and built Tin Kong."

"I remember," said the 12 Million Dollar Man, "The first part of the two-parter was an episode of my show called 'The Golden Farrah'. Von Flick did pick a good name for your double entendre. Farrah sounds close enough to Sarah."

"The second part was an episode of that series that Shaggy once pitched to the network executives called Scooby's Angels. They rejected it, but Von Flick picked it up anyway. The Scooby's Angels episode was called 'Angel in the 12 Million Dollar Man's Kitchen'."

It had been the first time a two part story had been aired over two different TV serieses. In the story, Farrah had been working for a detective agency, until the 12 Million Dollar Man had approached the agency's owner and said that Farrah would be retiring in order to cook the 12 Million Dollar Man's meals. Things has seemed peaceful between the couple for a while, until a cooking accident in Farrah's kitchen had left Farrah with serious injuries. The 12 Million Dollar Man, called Sleeves Austin in the show, had desperately approached the series's counterpart of the government man who had financed his telescoping neck, namely Logan 'Logie" Oldman.

"Sleeves, you'd say anything. You're in love with her!" Oldman had said.

"Look Logie, there's a woman lying in a hospital bed after an oven went troppo and blasted off its shelf and pinned her to the ground. She's got two legs and an arm crushed beyond repair, as well as severe damage to her hairstyle. You're the only one who can help me. Will you help me?"

Logie Oldman had not only paid for new telescoping limbs for Farrah, but had also given her a special wig with a bionic bob to replace her damaged hair.

That had all been TV fictionalization of their experiences, but now the realities were taking a strain on their marriage. Nonetheless, Sarah Shower Fawcett did complete her training and flew the first unmanned (by sufficiently womaned) flight into space. Deciding to make the most of it, before her husband used his influence to get her grounded and domesticated, Sarah Shower Fawcett went exploring space, until she came to a planet not charted by earth so far, and landed for a while. She found the laboratory of a renegade scientist named Growliath, who had fought the Galaxy Trio, been defeated by Meteor Man and shrunken with the antidote to his own growth gas and then caged by Gravity Girl and handed over to his own ruler. Vapor Man had been able to use his power to synthesize the antidote to the growth gas and fly around and reduce all the creatures that Growliath had enlarged.

Now Sarah Shower Fawcett discovered the gasses and read Growliath's notes. They detailed how Growliath had visited Planet X just before a calamity had forced its people to evacuate at the direction of its ruler Kurgo and the Fantastic Four. Reed Richards had created a reducing gas, which was used to shrink the population of Planet X and load them into two space ships. While Kurgo had lost his own escape opportunity after needlessly chasing an empty tank, which Reed had led him to think was an antidote gas; Growliath had managed to procure a sample of unused reducing gas in the tank and took it back to his own planet and reverse engineered an antidote, which became his growth gas. Now astronaut Sarah Shower Fawcett was able to return to earth with the secret formulae for both gasses, and samples of each from Growliath's storage unit. She would not be domesticated by the 12 Million Dollar Man any time soon.

The remaining shrunken Space Kidettes (Scooter, Countdown, Pupstar and Jenny), finding nobody in the other rooms, converged on Mrs Beatrice Reducto's dining room from two different doorways and landed on the dining table in front of her, made her acquaintance and explained their predicament.

"Oh you poor little dears," she said, "I should have been more careful when I tossed that raygun away. It must have got stuck in a tree in the on position."

"That's about how it was when we crashed into it," said Scooter.

"Snoopy'll find us soon," said Countdown.

"I don't know how to get you back to normal at the moment, but I recently made friends with some people who might be able to help. They had to go to a race, but I can contact them in due course. Would you like some curry in the mean time? It's my best recipe."

"Yes, thank you very much," said Jenny, "I think even Pupstar likes it."

The dog was wagging his tail and hinting for some of the meat he could smell. Beatrice fetched some empty bottles from a cardboard box she had planned to put out with the trash, and removed and washed the lids from the bottles. She served helpings of curry into each lid one by one, and they made suitable tiny bowls for the Space Kidettes.

Pupstar began barking at Jenny's bowl.

Jenny felt about with her fingers and found Snoopy's rocket pack.

"What's that doing in there?" asked Countdown.

"I don't know," said Beatrice, "It certainly wasn't in the ingredients."

"If that's his rocket pack, maybe he fell into the curry while it was cooking," said Scooter, "He might be drowning in it."

"I'll have a look," said Mrs Reducto, and gently ran a spoon through the pot, unable to find the boy. A thorough search turned up only a tiny helmet.

"That's his helmet!" said Jenny.

"Oh dear!" said Mrs Reducto, "I didn't know it was him."

"What was him?" asked Scooter.

"I thought I had a lump of mincemeat caught in my mouth. I tried to wash it down with two whole glasses of water. When that didn't work, I put my finger in my mouth and pushed it into my throat, only I think it must have been your little friend. I feel terrible. It was my carelessness with my former husband's gun that shrank you all in the first place, and now I've eaten one of you!" said Mrs Reducto.

"We can wash the curry out of Snoopy's rocket pack and get it working again later," said Scooter, "But lend me yours for now, Countdown."

Scooter took Countdown's rocket pack and flew up towards Beatrice's mouth.

"Open wide, Mrs Reducto," said Scooter, "Don't worry. With these packs, we'll both come back."

Mrs Reducto's mouth opened wide in front of him. Scooter flew in, sat on the front of her tongue, took a stronger hold of the straps of Countdown's rocket pack and then slid to the back of her mouth and into her throat. He soon reached her tummy and used his helmet light to find Snoopy.

"That big woman ate me," said Snoopy in tears.

"It's alright. She didn't mean to. She's our friend," said Scooter, "Put this on and then follow me up out of her tummy."

Using the rocket packs, Scooter and Snoopy flew back up Mrs Reducto's throat. When she felt their presence at the back of her mouth, she opened it, and they could see the way out. They slid to the front of her tongue, climbed onto her lower lip and then flew out of her mouth and down to the table.

"Little darlings I'm sorry about all of this," said Mrs Reducto, "Your parents must be worried sick."

"We don't have parents anymore," said Jenny.

"Well I always wanted children, but my husband said that being a mad scientist took up all the time he would have needed for parenting. Professor Carter's Micro Reducer could restore your size when set in reverse. Would you like me to adopt you all?"

The Space Kidettes all accepted her offer, and she made the call to the Micro Ventureres, to learn of the tragic loss of Professor Carter and Jill. Mike had attended the funeral with Professor Carter's brother, another Professor Carter who had also gone into the miniaturizing business, marketing the Carter brothers discoveries to CMDF, which had made him a valuable member of Combined Miniature Defence Force.

"I can still operate the machine myself," said Mike, "But I'm still in the process of organizing a new car. Could you bring the Kidettes to me and I'll restore their sizes here?"

"Sure," said Beatrice, and arranged to be at Mike Carter's place the next morning.

That night over dinner, Mrs Reducto looked at them all on the table.

"Children, I've been thinking," she said, "I've always wanted a daughter, and I'd like her to be normal sized, but you boys and Pupstar look so tiny and adorable as you are. How would you feel if I just took Jenny to Mike Carter's machine tomorrow, and adopted the rest of you at that size? It would make feeding four children and a dog much more economical too. You boys and Pupstar would never have any shortage of food."

"She's much nicer than the Space Giant," said Scooter.

"And prettier too," said Countdown.

"It's fun being tiny," said Snoopy.

The boys agreed to keep their new sizes along with Pupstar and their space craft. Mrs Reducto took Jenny to Mike Carter and had her enlarged. Then she took her new daughter out shopping. They bought three dolls houses and a toy kennel for Pupstar, and then went home and presented the gifts to the other Space Kidettes. Jenny thought that Snoopy made a fun doll for herself and would often enjoy playing dolls with him. Pupstar enjoyed exploring the garden at his new size, and used his rocket pack to fly around when none of the neighbours were around to see.

Elsewhere Sarah Shower Fawcett refused to leave the space program, and enlarged herself to giant size, rampaging against the 12 Million Dollar Man. The Teen Titans were away searching for the missing Robin. So the Team of Tryout Titans was contacted.

"The Teen Angels have left the team to get married," said Wendy, "I've got homework to do, Jayna's gone back to Exxor, feeling homesick since Brenda and Taffy accidentally drank Zan. I could send Coil Man and Multiman. They've stopped using the name Impossibles, ever since Fluid Man was also part of the drink that Brenda and Taffy mixed their cordial in that day. They're regulars in our new team now."

Multiman and Coilman got into the Impossijet and flew it to Big City Rocket Base, where Sarah Shower Fawcett was running amok. Elongating around her legs like a rope, and tripping her over, Coilman did the impossible.

Sarah struggled into a suitable sitting position, sitting on her tied legs, and reached for Multiman. Replicating himself with lots of duplicate Multimen, Multiman did the impossible.

"Don't worry, Coily. I'll surround her," said Multiman.

"I'm afraid you don't get off that easily," said Sarah Shower Fawcett, and grabbed a duplicate Multiman in each hand. As the original looked on, Sarah stuffed the duplicate into her mouth and swallowed. He saw the gulps of her neck as his counterpart was drawn down into her tummy. Sarah continued seizing duplicate Multimen and eating them. Multiman kept replicating himself.

"It won't do you any good," she said, after several minutes of feasting, "Just think how many of you I've already eaten!"

"Have you thought about it?" asked Multiman, "Even a giant stomach only has so much room."

"Now that you mention it, I do feel a little full," said Sarah, "Oh! It's giving me stomach cramps. It's not fair. I just want to be free from my husband's kitchen."

"And I need her at home to put dinner on the table," said the 12 Million Dollar Man.

"You're heading for a serious separation there!" said Sarah Shower Fawcett.

"Wait a minute!" said Coilman, "Why don't you two just hire a cook?"

"I'm surprised we never thought of it," said the 12 Million Dollar Man.

"We did think of it once," said Sarah, "And I told you then as I do now, that I won't trust a stranger in my house while we're both out, with all my expensive modelling award trophies there for the taking."

"You've got the right idea though," said Multiman, "Ever since we caught the Crafty Clutcher, I've held onto his mechanical hands and reprogrammed them. It should be easy enough to program them to cook good meals for both of you."

"Sounds great," said the 12 Million Dollar Man.

"It sure does," said Sarah Shower Fawcett, untie me Springy Boy and I'll have a look at these hands as soon as I'm back to normal size.

Sarah Shower Fawcett was released and used the antidote gas to return to normal size.

"Hang on," said Focus One, the Big City Crime Commission representative who filled Blue Falcon in on his missions, "I was assigned to contact the Team of Tryout Titans, when this rampage started while my regular employees Blue Falcon and Dynomutt were off at the factory making yet another attempt to fix the cause of Dog Wonder's malfunctions. It's one thing to enlarge yourself to giant size and have a domestic with your husband in a rocket base. Under the circumstances, my superiors could be persuaded to overlook that, but it's quite another to eat countless men. We cannot condone murder by cannibalism in Big City."

"But my Multis weren't real me," said Multiman, "I've lost lots of them to the various super villains Big D used to send us after, and I've never charged them with murder, since I'm still alive, and can always make more Multis."

"I suppose you're free to go then," said Focus One.

"Thank you very much, Multiman," said Sarah Shower Fawcett, "I was rather hungry when I started eating those Multis."

One day Mrs Reducto was talking to her adopted children, the Space Kidettes, except for Jenny, whom she'd enrolled in a girls school. She would home tutor the shrunken boys herself.

"Are you all happy here?" asked Beatrice.

"Yes," said Countdown, "We did get used to having exciting adventures with Captain Skyhook and Static after our treasure map all the time."

"We sure did," said Snoopy.

"The most exciting adventure we've had since then was when you ate us for a little while," said Scooter.

"But was that really fun for you? Surely not for you, Snoopy," said Beatrice.

"It was, when I had my rocket pack back," said Snoopy.

"I never had a turn," said Countdown, "Can you please eat me too, Mrs Reducto."

The woman laughed down at them.

"Are you sure you want me to?" she asked.

"Yes, please eat me Mrs Reducto."

"Alright," she said.

Countdown jetted up to her opening mouth with his rocket pack, climbed in and called out, "Swallow me!"

Mrs Reducto drew him into her throat and he slid easily down to her tummy. He flew around inside for a short while, and then flew back up her throat and tapped on her tongue with his hands, to signal her to open her mouth. He flew out.

"Did you have a good adventure?" asked Beatrice.

"Being eaten is fun, if you're the eating lady," said Countdown.

Mrs Reducto gave him a big kiss.

"You're such cute sweet little children. If you only knew how terrible I felt about eating Snoopy that day. You've made me feel so nice about it now."

"Can you eat us again sometimes?" asked Snoopy.

"If you like," said Beatrice.

The next day, after home tutoring was finished for the morning, Scooter asked if she would eat them again.

"Who am I going to eat first?" she asked.

"Me!" called all three of the Space Kidette boys at once.

"Why don't we make it more of an adventure?" she asked.

Mrs Reducto put Scooter into the Space Kidette craft, removed Snoopy's rocket pack and put him on the floor, and put Countdown on top of a bench.

"Now you can fly off, Countdown. You can run and hide, Snoopy, and Scooter can try to escape in the craft. I'll chase all of you until I catch you and eat you. Just don't stay in my tummy too long," said Beatrice, "As soon as I've eaten all of you, I think you should head back up."

"Oh Mrs Reducto, this is going to be so much fun!" said Scooter, and launched the craft into the air.

Scooter jetted away in the opposite direction, while Snoopy ran away on the floor. Beatrice ran after the craft, and grabbed it by the undersides. She pulled it down, and Scooter cut the engine.

She held the craft in front of her face, and smiled as she lifted Scooter out of the craft.

"Down you go, little Scooter, while I hunt down some company for you," said Beatrice, and put him gently into her mouth and gulped him into her throat, while she turned her attention to Snoopy.

She ran after him, until he disappeared under the couch. She got down and looked in.

"You can't get away, Snoopy," she called, and reached in and grabbed him, sat up and put him into her mouth and swallowed eagerly.

"I have to admit that you are tasty little dears," she said, and then stood up and ran after Countdown.

He turned to face her, and kept dodging her many lunges, using his rocket pack to jet from side to side, up and down and around. Eventually, she made a dummy lunge with one hand, to herd him in one direction, and then cut off his flight path and caught him with the other hand.

"Which brings the Count Down from 3 to 2 to 1," she said, "Be sure to bring the others up with you soon," she said, "You look very nice and delicious, little Countdown."

Mrs Reducto swallowed Countdown too, and then the three Space Kidettes flew back up out of her throat and out of her mouth.

"Thank you for eating us, Mrs Reducto," said Scooter.

They would enjoy several variations of this adventure as time went on.

Not only had the Teen Titans not found Robin, but Mike Carter was still wondering what he could do with the Micro Reducer to make life more interesting.

Chapter End Notes:

The description of Kid Flash's costume is based on the way Filmation drew the character for "The Superman / Aquaman Hour of Adventure", when Kid Flash appeared in two Flash stories and three Teen Titans stories.


	3. Chapter 3

Spoiler Reminder

This chapter onwards have major spoiler recaps of the Super Stretch and Microwoman story "Sugar Spice" (aired as part of Tarzan and the Super 7) and the Impossibles story "The Insidious Inflator" (aired as part of Frankenstein Junior and the Impossibles") and the Space Ghost episode "The Evil Collector", and the Star Trek animated episode "The Terratin Incident").

After a while, the Insidious Inflator served his prison sentence and was released from prison. He had been captured by the Impossibles and didn't want to risk facing them again, now that the surviving two of them had formed the larger Team of Tryout Titans. He felt that the only way to make a fresh start on his life of crime was in space. However, there was still one problem there too: the Galaxy Trio. The Inflator had once broken into their Chief's office on earth, undetected, and studied their case files on the Galaxy Trio.

A pattern had clearly emerged. More often than not, the team had been freed from various traps by Vapor Man. He had defeated Elrath, converted to Vapor to escape Zakor's trap, and was constantly helping his team mates Gravity Girl and Meteor Man to escape. Without him, the Inflator was sure that Gravity Girl's power would be of limited effect against a man who could inflate or deflate himself, and Meteor Man's power was quite similar to the Inflator's and hence a stale mate might well ensue.

As loopy as the Inflator was, and as obviously full of loopholes as his new plan was, the Insidious Inflator set out to implement it. The Inflator was an expert in the art of manipulating hot air, but Vapor Man could convert to any form of gas, which limited the Insidious Inflator's ability to take care of Vapor Man himself. There was one criminal on earth who had perfected the device for capturing Vapor Man. That was Ten Ton Tessie, although she didn't know it.

A group of criminals had broken into the home of Superstretch and Microwoman. One of them, a beautiful plump woman known as Ten Ton Tessie, had set up a device of her own making on the roof of the house. It acted like a super powered vacuum cleaner, sucking items of food out of the house and into the device's container, which Tessie then opened. She would eat the stolen food in large quantities, to satisfy her enormous appetite for food. At one point, the device had sucked up Microwoman too. The super heroine had met up with her opponent, when Ten Ton Tessie had lifted the lid of the container, in order to feed herself again.

The Insidious Inflator managed to free Tessie from prison, without either one of them getting recaptured.

"I want something from you," said the Inflator, "Your super vacuum device."

"I guess I could always make another one," said Tessie, "But I'm a fugitive here. What am I going to do?"

"If the Impossibles' employer Big D or Superstretch and Microwoman find out I busted you out, I'll be a fugitive too," said the Inflator, "But I'm leaving earth anyway, just as soon as I use your device to lure Vapor Man into a trap. Then I can take you with me and drop you off at the planet of your choice."

Soon the Galaxy Trio received a call from their chief.

"What is it Chief?" asked Meteor Man.

"Well we've had a message asking for help. The message warns that only Vapor Man can survive the powers of the villain involved, and leaves a location for Vapor Man to find the victim. The message specifically warns that Gravity Girl and Meteor Man would be sacrificing their lives if they came too."

"I'll go," said Vapor Man.

When the Galaxy Trio arrived near Earth, Vapor Man ejected from their spaceship Condor One, using a rocket pod, and flew to the coordinates included in the distress call message.

There the Insidious Inflator played the role of villain, and Ten Ton Tessie distracted Vapor Man with a helpless victim act, while the Inflator used her super vacuum device to trap Vapor Ma in his vapor form. He then pumped Vapor Man into a diving tank, and stashed it in the waterfront warehouse where they had set their trap.

Gravity Girl and Meteor Man never did find Vapor Man, and renamed themselves the Galaxy Duo, until they met the Space Ghost team. It was love at first flight for Jayce and Gravity Girl, who were soon courting regularly. Space Ghost gave Jayce the ersatz power bands that Zorak had once substituted for Space Ghost's.

"They're not as powerful as mine, Jayce," said Space Ghost, "But they will serve you well if you'd like to join the Galaxy Duo."

"Would that work, Meteor Man?" asked Jayce.

"You'd be most welcome," said Meteor Man, "We've been down on numbers ever since Vapor Man disappeared."

So Jayce put on a new costume rather like Space Ghost's and called himself Jayce Ghost and joined the Galaxy Duo, which was then renamed the Galaxy Trio again. His romance with Gravity Girl got stronger and stronger, and the team became very close knit because of it.

Vapor Man's breathing tank was kept in the warehouse, where the Inflator and Tessie had concealed it amongst a lot of other breathing tanks. It stayed there until the year 2019, when the tanks were taken to Sealab, which was almost ready to open as an underwater colony with children and citizens. By 2020 the total number of inhabitants of Sealab was projected to be 250. At the moment it only had a skeleton crew of Captain Mike Murphy (currently visited by his grandson Bobby and Bobby's friend Sally, who were hoping to become regular citizens of Sealab), Dr Paul Williams, Hal, Ed Thomas and his mother and Gail.

Dr Williams sent Gail on a diving mission to check the structural supports of Sealab.

"Take Sally with you," said Captain Murphy, "She's been asking for the chance to go diving for weeks, and this mission is the only safe one I can think of for a child."

Gail and Sally took their oxygen tanks, put on their diving gear and entered the Moon Pool. They began diving and approached the first support column. Gail unwittingly had breathed in all of Vapor Man.

"I can't stay in oxygen form, or she'll use me all up," said Vapor Man, who was not comfortable to remain in Gail's lungs for the rest of his days, "I've got to try converting to other gasses."

"Gail, what's that device for?" asked Sally.

"," said Gail.

"Gail, why do you sound like a chipmunk?" asked Sally.

"IfeellikeI've … inhaled a lot of helium," said Gail.

"Nope," said Vapor Man to himself, "Helium's definitely not the answer either. I can't try changing to methane. I heard that young girl calling her Gail. The last thing I want to do is create Gail force wind."

Vapor Man changed to another form of gas.

"So what were you saying about that device?" asked Sally, "I couldn't understand you before."

"Well, it sends {belch} out a sonar probe {hiccup} and measures the length and integrity {burp} of the Sealab material {cough}," said Gail, "We have to go back and see Dr Williams, "I think I might be getting the bends."

Shortly afterwards, in Dr Williams' office.

"No Gail, you don't have the bends. You went through the correct decompression procedures. I've been worried about using conventional old 20th century oxygen tanks down at this depth. I'm going to push through my plans to replace them with computer lungs, that let us safely reuse the same mixture. Don't worry Gail. We'll have them ready by the time Sealab officially opens in 2020."

But for Vapor Man, it was too late. He had been breathed and absorbed and dissipated by Gail. He was gone.

Ten Ton Tessie and the Insidious Inflator left earth and flew through space, until they came to a planet which had a small complex surrounded by plant life. There was nobody living on the planet, and Tessie decided to make it her own and live in the complex. The Inflator left her there, and she went inside to explore the complex. There was what seemed like a small waiting room, which had some tiny passageway at the bottom of a wall. In another room, on the other side of the passageway was a chair and various items of furniture, and a dead cat with eight legs. Tessie resisted the urge to hurl up the copious quantities of food that she'd eaten on her journey through space. She went out and buried the cat, examined the controls in the main room and found an automated cleaning and disinfecting unit. She had the whole complex cleaned up, and then turned on the video unit and watched in surprise.

She played back the most recent recording, which showed a being known as the Collector operating a shrinking device, and three super heroes named Space Ghost and Jan and Jayce being shrunken in the other room by the device, until they were small enough to explore the passage. The passage took them to the Collector's main room, where he had them hunted by Dracto the eight legged cat as sport for his own amusement. Space Ghost's pet monkey Blip had lured the Collector out of the room, so that Space Ghost could then shrink the Collector himself, who had then been thrown to Dracto by a shrunken captive from Jupiter, who had been shrunken and forced to play the game. The Space Ghost team had reversed the mini-beam and restored their own sizes as well as the Jupiter citizen's. He had returned home in his space ship and the cat had presumably starved from lack of victims.

Weeks later and 18 year old boy landed his space coup on a world not far from his own, and got out to explore. Suddenly a strange wave of some unknown force hit him, and he lost consciousness. He awoke in a small room. There was only one way out, but it was too small for him to crawl through. Then a ray beam from above reduced his size.

"At least I can get out of here," he thought, and walked along the passageway, and came to the end.

He stepped out into another room, where he saw a full sized incredibly beautiful plump woman seated on a chair looking down towards him. She pressed a button on her chair, and the doors behind the boy closed, making return through the passageway impossible.

"I'm Ten Ton Tessie," she said, recalling the words spoken by the Collector on the video, "Well my little friend, how do you like your new size? It's a pity you don't see the humour in your situation. Welcome to my second favourite sport: the hunt. You'd best run and hide. My weight won't slow me down that much at my full size. I hope you'll give me an interesting chase, because once I've caught you, I'm going to enjoy my favourite sport."

"What is that?" asked the boy.

"Eating!" said Tessie, "No doubt you'll give me an interesting chase, and then a very satisfying meal!"

The boy stared up at her in disbelief. She was only the width of the large room away from him, and she had reduced him to this size to hunt him and eat him. All he could do now was run for his life. She sat there, amusing herself by watching him run away, not even ready to start the chase yet. He darted off and under a piece of furniture.

Soon the huge woman stood up, walked over and got down and crawled towards him. She tried to reach under and grab him, but her plump arm could not quite fit far enough, as he ran to the other side. She crawled around and tried to head him off, but he kept changing positions, so that she could not reach him.

Then Tessie stood up, so that he could only see the bottom of her legs. Using her large build, she lifted the entire item of furniture up and placed it onto a table. The boy had no cover left, and began running again. She ran after him, reached down and picked him up, stuffed him into her mouth and gulped him down.

"More food, I want more food like that," she said, convinced that no other food tasted as good as shrunken boys, especially now that she had the perfect place to get more of them.

When girls or mixed company landed on the planet she just let them explore and then leave. Whenever boys arrived, they were reduced and forced to play the role of mouse in her hunts, now that she had cast herself in the role of Dracto.

Back on earth, Mike Carter was visiting his parents' and sister's grave site, when he met a beautiful woman named Kelly Webster, who was also visiting the grave site of a friend she'd recently lost.

Mike Carter started dating Kelly Webster, although he wasn't ready to tell her about the Micro Reducer yet. One day he asked her over on a date, and she got tired and needed to sleep. He was convinced that her occupation (about which she had remained secretive even from him) had been very physically tiring, as she often seemed to need a lot of sleep. He let her have his bedroom for a while, and prepared to play a small prank with the Micro Reducer, to surprise her. While Kelly slept, he shrank himself and snuck into the room and climbed onto the bed and drew close to his sleeping friend. While she'd curled up on his bed, her loose trouser pocket had looked fairly easy to climb into. He would hide inside, wait for her to awaken and look for him, and then surprise her for a joke.

He climbed into her trouser pocket.

Suddenly he heard a beeping sound coming from something near Kelly's wrist.

She jumped out of bed and called out, "I'm sorry, Mike. I have to go to work. I'll call you soon, and then ran out of the house, drove to her own home, and slid down a secret passage into a huge complex. Peeking out of her trouser pocket, he saw that she was looking at a spherical three dimensional video screen, and talking to a being in a red uniform with no recognizable facial features."

"What's the problem, Scarab?" she asked.

"Several young men and boys have gone missing in an outer quadrant of space, Kelly," he said.

"Do we have any clues to go on?" asked Kelly.

"Some of them told their parents where they were going first. The common factor is a planet which seems basically uninhabited. Yet someone must be there to be causing the disappearances, if that's the solution to the mystery. I'd like you to investigate."

"I'll leave immediately, Scarab," said Kelly and raised her hands, "Insects of the world, small creatures of the cosmos, lend me your powers!"

Suddenly Kelly's trousers were altered into the form of a pink pai of tights with no pockets. Seeing her hand come to rest by her side, Mike Carter jumped into it, to keep from falling.

Kelly lifted him up.

He explained everything.

"Amazing," said Kelly, "Maybe you could come with me. Let's pick up your micro reducer and take it in the Web Track."

"You're Web Woman! I've been dating Web Woman. I'd love to help you!" he said

"It would save having to explain things to you when I'm at work. I'm glad you found out," she said, "My previous partner Spinner was killed on a mission. It was his grave I was visiting when we met."

"Spinner?" he asked, "Not the Spinner that the Impossibles met a couple of times."

He had diplomatically used the word "met," so that she wouldn't be upset to learn that he was referring to a villain that the Impossibles had fought twice.

"No. He came from another planet, and he's never met the Impossibles. I don't know of their friend. They must have had the same name."

Web Woman sat the tiny Mike Carter on the Web Track seat beside her and flew to his house, collected the micro reducer and shrank a spare costume of her own, so that it roughly fit Mike. It would need a little alteration in the long term, to work well for a lad's body, but it was close enough.

"Now since you've made yourself the size of an insect, I'll make you my new sidekick and call you Insectisidekick," she said, and they flew the Web Track into space.

Scarab contacted them again.

"Web Woman, I've since been informed of statements made by a number of women and girls who have also visited that planet. Nothing has happened to them, nor any boys they took with them. For some reason, whatever's causing the disappearances is only interested in lone boys."

They flew the Web Track to the planet Scarab had mentioned, and landed in the only scenic part of the planet, after flying around above the surface to survey the terrain.

"Boys are the only ones who disappear," said Web Woman, "So I'm going to hide all my long hair inside my mask and remove my lipstick. Then I'll put on a trench coat to hide my figure."

"Are you sure that will work?" asked Insectisidekick.

"Of course it will. Lots of feminist women on earth are putting on coats and trousers to hide their feminine figures all the time, because of their fear of being attractive and inviting as they persue careers and try to frighten off nice guys. It's made them so unattractive that most men can't even tell the difference between men and women at a glance now. I'm sure it will fool whoever's on this planet," said Web Woman.

Web Woman concealed Insectisidekick against her cheek, inside her mask, as her secret weapon, and went out of the Web Track. Soon she was hit by a wave of something which knocked her unconscious. She awoke in a small room, to find that her costume's belt had been taken. She could not use web lines now. Suddenly she was hit by a shrinking ray, and reduced to tiny size. She ran along the passageway and into the room, where she saw Ten Ton Tessie looking down at her, and the door closed.

"Well little boy, how do you like your new size?" asked Tessie, and went on with her usual introductory spiel to the hunting and eating sport.

"Your costume still works," whispered Web Woman, "Slip out of my mask and see what you can do."

Mike Carter was now so small that he would be unnoticeable to Tessie. He came out from behind he mask, and Web Woman put him on the floor. She led Tessie a merry chase, while Mike Carter snuck out of the complex, now small enough to fit under the doors. He made the long trip back to the Web Track, swinging on web lines to speed his journey at his greatly reduced size. He was able to use a web line to activate the enlargement setting of the micro reducer and restore his size to that of Web Woman's now diminutive size. Then he turned the micro reducer on itself and reduced it so small that he could carry it in his hand. He took the micro reducer back into the complex, and found that Tessie had caught Web Woman and taken her into another room that was not sealed.

"So you see I'm not a boy, but a woman," said Web Woman, removing her maskand trench coat and letting her hair down.

"Well I don't want to eat you," but I can't let you go to tell on me," said Tessie, "I'm afraid I'll have to leave you here."

She put him on the floor and went to find something to cage Web Woman. Insectisidekick let her see him.

"So we do have a boy after all," said Tessie, "Won't you be a delicious meal for me!"

She began lumbering towards him. Insectisidekick fired the micro reducer at Tessie and reduced her to his own size. Then Insectisidekick set the micro reducer for enlargement, and restored Web Woman to full size. Finally he enlarged the micro reducer itself, so that it was large enough to be carried in Web Woman's hand. Tessie was eventually re-enlarged and taken to prison. Web Woman and Insectisidekick added the micro reducer to their arsenal and continued dating as Mike Carter and Kelly Webster.

Somewhere in the Lost Valley, Tod the Dino Boy and Ugh the Caveman were forced to flee their regular home after the Rock Pygmies had located their home and attacked it en masse. They climbed aboard their pet Bronte who ran for a long way, further than they'd ever gone before, until they came into a new territory they'd not explored.

Tod saw a very pretty girl only a few years older than him, being pursued by a wild beast. Using his bow and arrows, Tod shot the beast and saved the girl.

"Thank you! I'm Katie Butler" she said, and took Ugh and Tod and Bronte to meet her family.

"I'm John Butler," said her father, "This is my wife Kim and son Greg. We're very grateful to you for saving Katie. These are our friends Gorok, and Gara and their children Lock and Tana. They've been very hospitable and welcoming to us, ever since a whirlpool took us to this place from the civilized world we know."

"You're from there too!" said Tod, "I ended up here, when I was forced to parachute from a disabled plane. Ugh's been looking after me and teaching me the ways of this Lost Valley ever since."

"It seems as though we've had similar experiences," said Kim Butler, "We call it the Valley of the Dinosaurs. Maybe one day we can team up to get out. Every time we've come close we've been plagued by dinosaur attacks."

"We no return home," said Ugh, "Rock Pygmies attack our home and try to destroy us."

"You are welcome with us," said Gorok, "You may join our tribe, if you wish."

In the weeks ahead, Katie often invited Tod to go walking with her.

"I still can't get over how lucky I am that you acted so quickly," she said, "You're cute too. I don't mind you being a bit younger."

"I like you very much, Katie," said Tod, convinced that his first crush would be the only one he'd ever know. He'd been in the Lost Valley long enough to reach adolescence, and Katie was approaching 19.

"I like you too," said Katie, and moved to kiss him, putting her hands on his face.

"But the way Lock looks at you, I thought you two might be…"

"Blech!" said Katie, and there was something about the sight and sound of her saying that solitary syllable that Tod really enjoyed, "Lock has been a good friend, but you're the first boy I've seen with neat short hair, great orthodontic health, and some knowledge of civilized lifestyles. When and if we ever get out of this valley, I can't see Lock wanting to join us. I sure don't want to stay. I like you, Tod."

"Wow!" said Tod.

This time he went with his first kiss.

Elsewhere in the jungle rapids, Captain Majors, his assistant Brock, a boy named Pete, his aunt Quinn and a small cute dinosaur named Zookie were using a small boat, when they were unable to explore in their large ship. Suddenly they were caught in the same mysterious giant whirlpool which had brought the Butler family to the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs (as Tod and the Butlers had now decided to call it). The whirlpool took Captain Majors' team all the way down into the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs too.

They were found and befriended by Gorok's family, the Butlers and Tod and Ugh. Both teams explained their situations, until they were interrupted by the approach of several of the largest dinosaurs they'd ever seen.

"We've never faced this many before!" said John Butler, "What do we do, Gorok?"

"We are in great trouble," said Gorok.

"Not for long," said Captain Majors, detaching the signaler from his belt. He pressed the button and sent out the hypersonic signal only audible to a special friend of theirs.

Following the signal to aid his friends, Zilla (the most powerful dinosaur, and the only one known to exist in the civilized world apart from Zookie) approached the whirlpool. It was not powerful enough to draw him in, but he willingly forced his way through to the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs anyway, in order to rescue his friends.

"Oh no!" said Greg, "That one's even bigger than the others."

"Don't worry, he's our friend," said Pete.

The other dinosaurs had already begun wreaking damage on the homeland of Gorok's tribe. Zookie had done his best to fly around and distract them, but they were becoming more and more violent.

Zilla blasted one of them with his laser eyes, wounding it badly and driving it away. He then turned his full strength and fury on the other dinosaurs in a contest that only Zilla could win. In little time, Zilla defeated the other dinosaurs and drove them away.

"Your great beast has saved us all," said Ugh.

"Better than that, he can resist the whirlpool and get us out of here," said Brock.

"You mean we can all leave?" said John Butler.

"Yes," said Captain Majors, "We can all get into our boat, and Zilla can carry all of us out of here. We'll batton down the hatches to survive the whirlpool, and return to the part of the world from whence we came."

They spent one last week there, helping to repair the village, and then Captain Majors and Quinn spoke with Gorok and Gara.

"We've been observing Zilla and Zookie since they got here, and they seem much happier. This is their natural habitat. They might have even come from here," said Quinn.

"Zilla has helped us many times in the past," said Captain Majors, "But we don't believe it's right to take him back with us forever. We'd like you to have the signaling device. Zilla an Zookie have had time to accept you as friends. Give us an hour to get back to our own country and then use the signaler device to call Zilla back here to live with you. He will be able to protect you from now on, whenever your tribe is threatened by dinosaurs or other attacks. It's the least we can do after all that you've done to look after our fellow citizens the butlers."

The next day the Butlers and Tod made final farewells to Ugh and Gorok's family, and then climbed aboard Captain Majors' boat with Brock and Pete and Quinn. Pete had told Zookie to stay and explain things to Zilla. Zilla took them through the whirlpool and back into the rapids and set them far enough away from the whirlpool. He would also do the same for anyone else unfortunate enough to be caught in the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs in the future.

Then Zilla soon headed back.

"Gorok must have activated the signaler!" said Brock.

Soon Zookie and Ugh and Gorok's people were rejoined by Zilla, and looked forward to the great beast's protection.

Captain Majors' team took the Butlers and Tod back home after an extended stay aboard their ship. They all remained friends, and Tod continued to see Katie Butler, enjoying her 'blech's so much that he eventually told her so. Katie laughed and continued to say it more frequently for his pleasure.

Captain Majors and his team would continue to sail the seas occasionally, but not venture into dangerous places, where they once counted on Zilla's and Zookie's help.

Chapter End Notes:

Hi there, kids. Has everyone forgotten about Robin? How many times has Mrs Reducto eaten the Space Kidette boys?

Did Kelly find the name for her new partner Insectisidekick in a Webster's dictionairy?


	4. Chapter 4

Spoiler Warning: The next chapter contains satirical spoilers for the Legends of the Super Heroes episode "The Roast" and the comics "All-New Atom#3&4&17"

Meanwhile reporter Rhoda Rooter was rooting out information about all the super heroes she could in order to make a guest appearance on Legends of the Super Heroes. It was a TV show which made comedic satire of members of the Superfriends, their enemies the Legion of Doom, and a few other heroes and villains. She approached Giganta and the Atom, never learning that his secret identity was Ray Palmer.

"I was thinking we could do a special spot with you two," said Rhoda, "We've got ordinairy actors and actresses playing all the other characters on the show, and we're using fairly cheap special effects to simulate their powers. However, I thought there'd be a lot of visual potential in a gag interview about you two getting engaged. The only thing is that we can't afford the special effects on a 50 minute TV comedy special to show the size difference between any actress willing to play Giganta and any actor willing to play you, Atom. So I was hoping the real McCoys would be available."

"I'll have to take time off from the Legion of Doom," said Giganta, "But I'd like to do it. I think he's cute. I'll radio Luthor and let him know. There's not one attractive guy in the Legion of Doom, except perhaps the Toyman."

"That's great," said Rhoda, "What about you, Atom?"

"Well I am spoken for in my secret identity," said the Atom, "But I've always fancied myself on TV."

"Can I ask about your origins on the show?" asked Rhoda.

"I'm afraid mine's top secret," said the Atom.

"What about yours?" asked Rhoda of Giganta.

"They're tied in with Apache Chief's. I stole some enlarging chemicals from a scientist Indian, who'd just offered them to the young Indian who became Apache Chief."

"That's not much of a story," said Rhoda, "Why don't I leak it around the tabloids that you're evolved from a gorilla and gained the power of super growth on the side, and since you're a female villain, it'd be better to make you an old nemesis of Wonder Woman instead of Apache Chief."

"Oh gross," said Atom.

"I agree," said Giganta, thinking that she couldn't go along with anything that discouraged the cute Atom.

"There's a big pay check in it for each of you," said Rhoda.

"Luthor's not paying much. I'll do it," said Giganta, "Come to think of it, Luthor's schemes are not getting us anywhere. I think I'll quit the Legion of Doom after this, change my hairstyle and adopt a secret identity, and go straight."

"And I've been too busy making wedding plans since the Superfriends found themselves busy with the Legion of Doom," said the Atom, "A quick TV appearance would be good for me too."

And so, Giganta and Atom made their appearance on Legends of the Super Heroes. Then Giganta took on the identity of Doris Zuell, science professor at Ivy University. She invented a device which would renew a person's use, and called it the Zuell Hour machine. When she went to test it, she couldn't get it to work. She put an advertisement in the paper asking for the Atom's help.

Ray Palmer became the Atom and called on Doris Zuell. Unlike her students, he recognized her as Giganta instantly.

"Why should I help you with this?" he asked.

"This device could turn me back into a teenager. I could live my life over again, and be a good girl this time. Isn't that worth it?"

"Alright," said the Atom, "I'll go inside the device and observe it, while you operate it. I'll see if I can spot the problem and fix it."

Atom shrank a little smaller and went into the machine. Doris turned it on, and there appeared to be nothing going on outside the Zuell Hour device. Inside, the Atom saw that two wires were so close together, that they were shorting out each other's effects. As the Atom separated them, the device began internally backfiring on itself. Quickly the Atom got out of the device, and then its internal effects on itself caused the device to implode. Atom grew back to his usual size and apologized to Doris.

"It's not your fault," she said, "I could have been responsible for your death. I'll never rebuild the Zuell Hour device. It obviously doesn't even work."

The Atom went to call on his fiancé, a lawyer named Jean Loring. He zipped up to the ledge of her office window and peeked in, to see that she was alone, working on some legal document. Then he tapped on the window. Jean looked up, smiled and opened the window. The Atom jumped in, and checked to see that her office door was closed. Nobody would see him change size.

Pressing the controls on his costume, the Atom began to grow in front of Jean. At four inches, he was a little over the height of her ankles, looking up at her long dress to her distant high beautiful face. Now he grew and grew, and the white dwarf properties of his costume made it begin to turn invisible. Soon he reached his full height, but this time it only came up to just below the base of Jean's neck.

"Keep going, Ray," she said, "You seem to have stopped a bit too soon this time."

"I can't grow any larger," said Ray, "This has never happened before."

"Ray, there's something else. You look … well… I don't know how to say this, but you look younger than you were when I first met you," said Jean.

"Younger! Have you got your pocket mirror?" asked Ray.

Jean took out her make-up mirror and handed it to Ray.

"Oh no!" said Ray, "The Zuell Hour device must have de-aged me to a teenager, while it was internally backfiring, while I was inside it. I was helping another scientist to test a machine, and at that size and masked, I didn't realize that it had taken some of my age. Jean, I'm so sorry. We sure can't get married with me like this."

"No, I guess we can't, but I never knew you were so cute. Looks like I've got myself a toy boy," said Jean, "You'd better shrink back down until I can smuggle you out of here. We can't explain this."

"No. I've still got my qualifications, and I will have them when I'm 20. I just won't be able to use them in public until I look like an adult again. I won't have to go to school, and I'll have to eat at Atom size to save on food bills."

They went back to dating. Ray had never had a girlfriend before Jean. So it was great to be with her and be a teenager again … until he paid a surprise visit to her house and caught her smooching with a guy named Paul Hoben. She hadn't told Paul about the Atom or about Ray Palmer. When Paul had left, Ray confronted her about it.

"I love you, Ray, I do, but I'm ready for married life. I can't keep slinking around with a kid. I'm sorry."

Ray hadn't been active with the Superfriends aka Justice League for some time now anyway, and thought it more suitable to join the Teen Titans at this point. As an active member of their team, he soon found himself alone chatting with Wendy one day.

"I always thought those balloon people in our backyard were the sweetest little folk," said Wendy, "But you're human and cuter than the Space Kidettes at that size."

"Thank you, Wendy. Would you like to go out some time?"

So Ray Palmer and Wendy became dating partners. Over time, Wendy's lack of costume and super powers tended to rate low with the Teen Titans' fans, and she disappeared into relative obscurity, taking Ray Palmer with her, so that they could spend more time necking with Ray both at normal and four inch teenage Atom size.

Ray built a second shrinking belt and costume and briefly returned to Ivy University to find a suitable person to take over his role as a super hero. He soon formed a friendship with a science student named Ryan Choi, who told Ray that he hoped to one day graduate and become a teacher at the university.

"You're one of Professor Doris Zuell's students," said Ray, "And I've often thought she needed keeping an eye on. She was once a super villain named Giganta."

"Really?" said Ryan, "I heard that she left the Legion of Doom when I was just a very young kid."

"She did, but she may not always be on the up and up. How would you feel about becoming a super hero, like the Atom, for instance?"

"It'd be great, but I don't have any powers," said Ryan.

"Neither does he," said Ray, "It's all in a special costume and belt. Observe."

Ray Palmer shrank to four inch size and then grew back.

"You're the Atom, from the Teen Titans!"

"Originally from the Justice League. It's a long story. I'm out of the business these days, but there's a costume and belt for you, if you want it. Just keep a close watch on Giganta for me."

Ryan accepted, and left Ray to his ongoing romance with Wendy.

In the meantime, at the Headquarters of Combined Miniature Defence Force (CMDF), Erica Lane and Buzby Birdwell had both caught the flu.

"It's unfortunate," said the Chief, "We were going to test the improvements Buzby had made to the Voyager today."

"I flew the other attack craft when the Master Spy Gottfried Senneka had shrunken himself and me with the Miniaturizer," said Professor Carter, "I could substitute for Buzby."

"And I could substitute for Erica, so that the Voyager still has a crew of four," said the Chief, "We'll just have to get Erica out of bed long enough to activate the machine."

Erica Lane used the Miniaturizer to shrink the Voyager, with Jonathan Kidd, Guru, Professor Carter and the Chief all inside it. Then she went back to bed, knowing that they would automatically re-enlarge when they reached the Deminiaturization platform at the end of their twelve hour time limit.

The Voyager was now only a centimeter long and half a centimeter wide. Professor Carter flew it out of CMDF headquarters under its own power, without the usual use of the radio beam. He was a little unfamiliar with the controls, but managed to fly the Voyager successfully for quite a while, until it was caught in an unusally high wind. Some dust was blown into the Voyager's motors at high speed. To the tiny Voyager, the dust was enough to severely damage the ship. As they felt their motors conking out, they quickly landed the Voyager.

Soon it was found by Professor Doris Zuell.

"What a great looking miniature ship," she thought, and held it up to her eye. She saw four tiny men moving inside it!

"I just thought of a great idea," she laughed, "Stay snug in there, little guys."

Doris Zuell went to a beauty parlour and was served by the lady who ran it.

"What can we do for you?" asked the lady, named Ella.

"I'd like to have my tongue pierced," said Doris, taking out the Voyager, "And then can you put this in it?"

Soon the Voyager became a tongue piercing object on Doris Zuell's tongue. The four men were forced to look out at the gargantuan tongue, unable to free the ship.

"We'll have to leave the ship and get out of her mouth without it," said Jonathan Kidd, "We can't afford to still be in here, when we enlarge at the end of 12 hours."

"Well what are we waiting for?" asked the Chief, "Let's go."

"Not yet," said Professor Carter, "We'd be just specks on her tongue at the moment. It would be like an ocean with a soft bottom to us. Kidd's got the right idea, but we have to leave the ship, just as we start to grow, so that we can all team up to pressure her mouth into opening, when we enlarge enough. We'd never be able to climb out at our current size."

So they all waited, keeping an eye on the ship's clock, as it counted down the remaining hours and minutes. With only two minutes to go, they evacuated the Voyager and did their best to slide towards the front of Doris Zuell's tongue. At this point, she was at home. She felt the Voyager just slightly starting to grow, pressing against the pierced part of her tongue.

"Oh my goodness, it's growing!" she thought, "What am I going to do?"

She quickly left her house, and began growing herself, as she strode into the park. Unprepared for the fact that she was growing as well, the four men found themselves helplessly sliding backwards on her tongue and down her throat to be lost in her stomach below.

She did her best to grow at the same rate as the Voyager, but eventually overtook it, and the Voyager slipped out. She felt the piece of metal now sliding loosely on her tongue and spat it out into the park. When she reached her maximum giant size, she felt relieved that she hadn't swallowed the Voyager. She watched it reach its full size, which wouldn't have fit in her mouth even after she'd fully enlarged. She picked it up and looked for the four men, but couldn't see them.

"Looks like they went down the other way," she thought, "And I didn't even get to savour it. I can't go gobbling little guys at giant size, or the government and the Justice League will be after me, but I'd better shrink back before anyone sees me and learns that Doris Zuell is the long lost Giganta."

Giganta's tongue eventually healed up, leaving no evidence that it had ever been pierced. One day Ryan was thinking about Ray Palmer's request to keep an eye on Doris Zuell. He wondered if she'd left any evidence of sinister activity in her science classroom, and decided to sneak in there after school. His armpits had been feeling itchy that day, and Ryan simply couldn't cope with the tight costume over his clothes. So he took off everything except his boxer shorts, and the shrinking belt, and then reduced himself to 5 ½ inch size and snuck under the locked door and into Professor Zuell's science laboratory classroom. He managed to get onto her desk and saw a book labeled Lab Notes.

He turned a page, and began to read. Suddenly Professor Zuell opened the door and came into the room.

"Ryan!" she said, "So you're the Atom! Although I thought he'd be older."

"He was," said Ryan, unaware of some of the irony of that statement, "I'm the All-New Atom, and I thought you'd gone home for the day."

Doris came over and stood by the table, towering in front of him, looking down in amusement.

"I always thought you were the cutest of my students, Ryan," she said, as he saw her large fingers close around him, "Now I also think you could be the tastiest."

She didn't mention that she'd wanted to eat the Atom on the sly ever since she'd realized that she'd unwittingly swallowed the Voyager crew. To this day, she was still unaware that they had been CMDF.

"Professor Zuell!" he said, as she lifted him up and held him right in front of her mouth, "Surely you don't mean to …"

Her incredible figure loomed in front of him. He'd always found her attractive, yet had no idea what to do about it, and recently learned of her Giganta history. Now she had her heart set on eating him!

"Please don't! I won't fit!" he said, gaping at her perfect teeth in horror.

"Well we can't let that stop us, can we, little Ryan," she laughed, and increased her size a little more. She could never have reached her full giant size in the classroom. She just grew large enough that her mouth could accommodate Ryan in one piece.

Ryan looked into her mouth and recalled something he'd read on the internet two years earlier. He had been looking up dating sites for taller women, and found that most of the really tall men wanted to date even taller guys. Yet one woman had written in a chat room: "Shorter guys are OK, except for the ones who want to be stepped on or eaten."

At the time he had dismissed the comment as some unlikely reference, and not really taken in its significance. Now he looked at this beautiful university teacher who was about to gobble him alive. He saw the pleasure and the beauty in her laughing mouth and began to wonder if he should have taken his internet research much further. He wondered what he might have found if he'd keyed different phrases into a search engine.

"How does it feel to know where you're going, Ryan?" asked Doris, "I hope it'll be good for you too. I know it will for me."

"It feels strangely … great," said Ryan.

"Thank you, kind Sir. I'm deeply flattered," said Doris, "Although you do realize that I'll soon be in a much better position to savour the moment than you will."

The way she spoke, he felt convinced that she had been using the internet a lot more than he had, when it came to certain subject matter.

"Now I'll never get to see all those A's you gave me wind up on my academic transcript," said Ryan.

"Well you can't have everything," said Doris, "I'd better Atom down the hatch now. So long, cutie."

"An Atom for the teacher?" said Ryan.

He could swear he saw her cheeks blushing just before she pushed him into her laughing mouth. He lay on her tongue and thought.

"I'm being eaten by my teacher, whom I've had a crush on all year, who turns out to be a super villain. On the whole, it's been fun, but there is the small matter of not feeling too keen on the type of bath I'll be taking in her stomach. Perhaps I could-"

Suddenly Doris Zuell's tongue heaved him straight for her throat, and down inside it. He made it all the way to her tummy, and then got an idea.

"Now that she thinks she's swallowed me for good, she'll be more carefree about opening her mouth. I just have to get back up there," he thought.

He adjusted his size and weight controls, making himself small enough to float back into the bottom of her throat.

"If I climb up now, it'll be too hard at this size. If I grow back to four inches, she'll feel me trying to climb up and just gulp me down again and again," he thought.

Giganta shrank back to her regular size, but Ryan didn't notice in the darkness inside her. While Giganta went home, he waited at the bottom of her throat for the moment when she would lie down and go to sleep. Then he could climb along her throat at a size too tiny for her to notice, and then slip out of her mouth before she awoke.

An hour and a half later, he noticed a light coming from the top of her throat, which was so high up for him at that point.

"She's not talking," he thought, "I wonder why she's opened her mouth."

Then it got a little darker again overhead, and he heard a loud succession of sounds.

"Of course! I seem to have forgotten what most women do before going to bed. She's having dinner!"

Before he could get coated in swallowed food, he shrank much smaller, positioned himself between the pores of her skin and waited for all the food to pass by him. It was followed by a torrent of water and then she settled down.

After a while, the light came into her throat from her mouth again, and he heard her starting to sing, as he restored his size enough to rest in her throat. He could also hear rushing water.

"Oh good grief. She sings in the shower!" thought Ryan.

"An Atom a day

Keeps the teacher at bay!" sang Doris.

"I wonder what sort of a fan base she'd have if she sang on stage at giant size," thought Ryan.

"Honey I'm home. I've had a good feed.

You're in my tummy, won't be freed," sang Doris.

He imagined the view outside.

Doris finished her shower and lay down in bed. Ryan waited for her to fall asleep and then climbed up her throat and onto her tongue. He was still around the same size as the tiny Voyager had been when she'd first discovered it. He slid towards the front of her tongue and wondered if he'd awoken her. If she hadn't been lying on her side at this point, her tongue would have been very difficult to ascend.

He shrank smaller, smaller and smaller, passed between gaps not normally noticeable between her teeth, and then enlarged to a centimeter in height. Now he was pressed against her lower lip. He climbed it gently, wondering if she'd awaken. Soon he was at the top. He managed to squeeze himself between her sleeping lips and out onto the outside, and then re-enlarged to four inches, just as she stirred and awoke.

She flipped the reading lamp on and lit up her face for him.

"Ryan! How did you?"

"I can go a lot smaller than 6 inches," said Ryan.

She tried to grab him again, but he grew to full size.

"There goes round two," she said, "You could have been both my afternoon tea and a midnight snack."

"Well since you didn't know I could shrink out of its way, you might have given some consideration to what you were dumping on me in between those two meal times," said Ryan.

"Oh, my dinner. Yes, well, a girl needs to keep eating, Ryan. Besides, you have some explaining to do."

"About what?"

"If you could just grow back to normal size, why did you let me eat you in the first place?"

"You wanted your fun, and I knew I could use my powers to get out."

She grew to ten feet tall and grabbed him and pulled him onto the bed and hugged him.

"Ryan, you're so sweet and considerate! To think I might have lost you down there in the cause of one great afternoon tea."

She kissed him on the lips, which was great at her enlarged stature.

He began kissing her too, and they both explored each other's necks for quite some time.

"Ryan?" she said, in a teasing voice.

"Yes."

"It's not that I'm ungrateful for what you did for me, but you didn't do it for me alone, did you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked, embarrassed.

"Have you forgotten what you said in the classroom? You described what was coming as strangely great."

"I guess I did say that," said Ryan.

"Ooh Ryan! You did want it as well, and it was so good for both of us, wasn't it?"

They pulled the blanket over them and kissed and cuddled and snuggled together for some time, and dropped off to sleep, and then awoke with the sunrise.

"It's so nice having you in my bed," she said.

Ryan shook slightly, and realized that she'd noticed it.

"I'm sorry," he said, "It's just that I think it's right to wait until we're married, before we make full use of this bed."

"I understand, but I hope that's a proposal."

"It is, but for the future. Let's just date for now."

"Ryan?"

"Yes."

"It was good for you, wasn't it?"

"Knowing what you were thinking made it even better," said Ryan.

"Can we do it again sometimes?" she asked.

"Sure, so long as you let me climb out at around two inches next time, without gulping me down again."

"Couldn't I just gulp a little?" she asked mischievously, "You'd get more exercise that way. It would help you keep fit as a super hero."

So began an interesting relationship. Meanwhile, at CMDF, another was forming. Recovered from their flue, Buzby Birdwell and Erica Lane became increasingly aware of the fact that the other members of CMDF weren't coming back. They eventually retrieved the Voyager from the park, where it was reported to have been located. Before they could move it, Buzby had to repair the motors, telling the local police that it was just an ordinairy aircraft of unusual shape. He could not let the public learn about the Miniaturizer. Once he had repaired he Voyager, he flew it back to CMDF headquarters at full size, and examined it further.

"Erica, you won't believe this, but it contains traces of female slobber."

"The others must have flown into a woman's mouth and been swallowed," said Erica.

"But we didn't find the woman," said Buzby, "She must have been internally shattered to smithereens when the Voyager automatically re-enlarged in the park."

"Well I was getting rather tired of those missions anyway," said Erica, "Looks like we're in charge of CMDF now. The budget boys won't be calling to inspect the place any time soon, since they'll only be paying 2 salaries instead of 6."

"Just you and me then," said Buzby.

"I always had designs on Jonathan, but you'd be quite a catch too, Buzby. I've been thinking so ever since I used you as a puppet to entertain those kids."

"I never dreamed you'd say that," said Buzby, "But I loved it when you said, 'Oh, no you don't. Be a good little puppet,' and put me in the box."

"You LIKED that?" said Erica.

"Sure. Your fingers felt so soft as you picked me up, and your big smiling face was a sight to behold."

"Maybe we could have a few cat and mouse games around the complex, now that we've got the place to ourselves," said Erica.

"I'd like that," said Buzby. So began another interesting relationship.

Elsewhere a keen scientist named Chris Tianne had become increasingly aware of the presence of magic in the multiverse, and wondered what to do about it. He recalled that a character named Ultraa had recently used a device which negated super powers, leaving every super hero on the planet powerless. Chris began reading from great authors like Daniel and Paul and John, until he got a great idea.

Chris constructed a device called the Revelation Ray, and mounted it from the steeple of the highest church in the world. From there its effects would span out and reach every dimension in the multiverse. Chris activated the Revelation Ray, which flooded the entire universe with Anti-Magus waves. Magic and all its effects were forever removed from the multiverse.

There were two significant ramifications of this. In the Land of Gigantia, Billy Behemoth shrank back to the size of regular earth humans, having been magically enlarged by Miss Tickle, who was now just a regular schoolteacher. Madam Mammoth regained her giant size and returned to her castle. Rick was now trapped in the dimensions beyond the door in the chalkboard, and would never be able to return to earth. He explored various places, until he came to the Land of Her Suit, where all women liked men to have neat short hair. He was persuaded to finally get a haircut, but was not sufficiently interested in any of that land's ladies. He returned to Madam Mammoth's castle and let her see him in her pantry.

"What are you doing back here?" asked Madam Mammoth.

Rick explained the fact that he was now unable to return home, while he and Madam Mammoth walked out to the kitchen.

"So what does that have to do with me?" asked Madam Mammoth.

"Since you're the prettiest woman I've met in any dimension, I came to ask if you'd like to let bygones be bygones and marry me," said Rick.

"I'll have to think about it while you're warming up," she said, lifting Rick into the air and placing him in the oven, "If I say yes, we'll get engaged. If my answer's no, you can be the first improvement on my diet lately."

Never was the unknown outcome of a marriage proposal more important than it was now, Rick thought, as he watched Madam Mammoth doing her dishwashing by hand and putting everything away. He saw her come back, open the oven door and put him on a dish and carry him through the huge castle to a dining table and sit down with him.

"I guess this would be a 'no'," said Rick.

"Good food's hard to come by these days," she said, and put Rick into her mouth for a minute, and then took him out again, "But so are good husbands. I accept your proposal."

"I really thought I was on the way down," said Rick.

"So did I," said Madam Mammoth, "Let's make it a long engagement, in case I have second thoughts again."

"Or thoughts of seconds," said Rick.

Her laugh almost shook the castle.

The second ramification of the Revelation Ray's Anti-Magus waves took its effect on Ashta, the 15 foot magical woman whom Scarab had banished from earth with the help of Web Woman and the reformed prison escapee Reece. Ashta lost her magical powers too. Without them, she knew that she would not present a noticeable problem to Scarab and Web Woman. Ashta was eventually found by Jason of Star Command, who did not know of her criminal past. She passed herself off as a weary space traveller and requested a lift back to earth.

After some time, Jason landed the Starfire craft on earth, in an isolated part of the country side, and said farewell to a grateful Ashta. She took a job with a circus, as her height made her a great attraction to the audience. She expanded her name to the more earth like Ashley Taylor, and was now earning a regular pay check.

One day Pete, who'd not managed to find a love interest in the events leading to the escape from the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs, came to visit the circus, and fell instantly in love with Ashley Taylor, or the Great Ashley, as she was now known. Keen to act on his feelings, Pete waited until the show was over, and then visited the specially constructed giant caravan that she lived in.

He knocked on the door, and Ashley opened it.

"I really liked the show," he said.

"Thanks," said Ashley.

"Would you like to go and get some dinner?" he asked.

"Are you asking me out on a date?" asked Ashley.

"If you're not seeing anyone," said Pete.

"Nobody's ever asked me before. I think men find me too big, unnaturally big for them," said Ashley.

"I don't," said Pete.

"I've had some dresses made up in my size. Let me put one on and I'll be out in a minute," said Ashley.

Soon they walked into town, drawing a few stares as they chose a suitable diner with an outdoor arrangement that wasn't too awkward for Ashley. They ordered their meals and Pete paid in advance, asking the waitress not to interrupt them once the food had arrived.

"You realize that being with me would mean being on the road a lot, traveling from one circus venue to another, and living off my earnings in a caravan built a little large for you?" said Ashley.

"It was like that when we were at sea all the time," said Pete, and explained about his adventures with Zilla and Zookie.

"You hung out with a giant dinosaur," said Ashley.

"Until we left him in the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs," said Pete.

"No wonder my size doesn't worry you," said Ashley.

"It's more than not worrying me. I like it," said Pete.

"You're quite a special young man," said Ashley.

When they'd finished their meal, she lifted him up and mounted him on her shoulder and walked proudly back to the circus.


	5. Chapter 5

Intelligence One received a call from Commander Bennett. The entire team (Dr Benton Quest, his son Jonny Quest, his adopted son Hadji, his bodyguard Roger "Race" Bannon, Race's daughter Jesse Bannon and the Quest's pet dog Bandit) were all in the monitor room when the call came in.

"A wealthy middle aged socialite named Mrs Gotrocks has broken into the Pentagon and thrown olives from her drink glass into the security officers' eyes, rendering them temporarily incapable of responding. Before they knew it, she'd made off with top secret files. They're in code, but we believe she will most likely be working for someone with the skills to decrypt them," said Commander Bennett.

"Didn't they fire on her?" asked Race.

"The bullets just seemed to lodge in her body with no effect," said Bennett.

"Well right now Race, Jonny & Hadji are about to help me run some VR tests in Questworld," said Benton, "Since this case is too ridiculous to warrant the assistance of the whole team, I think we can only spare Jesse. She's also the one best suited to make any sense of such a bizarre method of crime perpetrated by a female criminal. I'll put Jesse on, while we get on with our work."

"Commander, this sounds like one of Dr Zin's plots," said Jesse, "My mother Jade Kenyon alias Estella once pretended to work for Zin. She'd be glad to help me for a while."

"We've been tracking Zin's movements by satellite, waiting for his next mad scheme to unfold," said Bennett, "I'm sending you the location of his current suspected headquarters now."

"Thanks Commander. I'll be in touch," said Jesse, and put her flying hovverboard on the passenger seat of her motor bike and took off for her mother's place.

Bennett checked his files for any known records on Mrs Gotrocks, and came up with one name: the Finkerton Detective Agency.

Shortly afterwards, Finkerton's regular routine of ranting and raving at Inch High Private Eye was interrupted by a visit from Commander Bennett, who explained the situation.

"The olives in Mrs Gotrocks' drinks are very high quality. It's hard to believe she'd throw them away as ammunition," said Inch.

"How do you know that?" asked Bennett.

"I hid in one of them while staking out one of her high society parties for clues," said Inch High.

"That's invaluable news, Mr Inch. Finkerton, we would like to know if you'd be prepared to let your man work for us."

"Why not?" said Finkerton, "I've never been that happy about him working for me."

Inch High called Laurie and Gator to bring the Hushmobile with Braveheart the dog. They parked near Mrs Gotrocks' house. The normal sized assistants waited outside, while their one inch tall private eye entered the house by climbing to an open window using his string and grappling hook, wearing his traditional dark green trousers and light green trench coat.

It turned out to be the kitchen window. A sudden gust of wind blew Inch High off the windowsill and into a bowl of lime jelly, for which he already had the perfect camouflage. Inch High waited until Mrs Gotrocks came and took the jelly to a table and began to spoon it into her mouth. Eventually the spoon picked him up too. He decided it was time to make a move and show himself, as she had not given away any clues. To his surprise the jelly stuck tight, and he could not leave the spoon.

He saw her mouth approaching, and once inside he used her tongue to wash off all the jelly and send it towards her throat. Mrs Gotrocks felt him there and took him out.

"Mr Inch, what were you doing inside that spoonful of jelly in my mouth?"

"Coming unstuck," said Inch High, "Mrs Gotrocks, several government witnesses and closed circuit TV camera footage have caught you stealing top secret files from the Pentagon. Have you anything to say?"

"When was this supposed to have happened?" she asked.

"9pm last night," said Inch High.

"Well I have several witnesses to the fact that I was hosting a party here from seven until midnight," said Mrs Gotrocks, "You met some of them when you were hiding in my olive."

"It must be an impersonation then," said Inch to Laurie out in the Hushmobile.

"By an impostor who can absorb bullets," said Gator.

"Do you suppose Spumoni the Dollmaker has launched his third crime?" asked Laurie, "He's been paroled."

"Of course," said Inch High, "His life size automatons would be unaffected by bullets and programmed to be expert shots with olives, "Let's head for his house. He'll probably be wanting to get those papers to his buyer soon."

They arrived just in time for Gator to slingshot Inch High into Spumoni's departing car. Inch High landed on the soft seat and waited until he had the chance to sneak into Spumoni's pocket, where he stayed until Spumoni reached his destination and was about to complete a transaction with the man who had hired him to steal the papers: Dr Zin.

Inch High used a piece of string to lasso Spumoni's hands together, then swung around several times to help tie the knot.

"You may be used to working your little tricks on an old doll maker," said Zin, "But I am another proposition."

"So are we," said Jade Kenyon, and jumped Zin from behind, while Jesse Bannon put out her hands to look after Inch High.

"We've been tracking you," said Jesse.

"What, no irritatingly persistent Benton Quest, nor your father?" said Zin, "I'm surprised."

Jade Kenyon and Jesse and Inch High turned the stolen files, Dr Zin and Spumoni the Dollmaker all into Commander Bennett. Inch High debriefed the others on the trail he found to Zin's headquarters. Race Bannon's teenage daughter and his ex-wife listened with interest.

"I couldn't have done it without your help," said Inch High.

"Why thank you, Mr Inch," said Jade, "You're cute enough to turn me into the 'Honey, I'm home' type for the first time in my life. How would you like to come over for dinner?"

"Well my clothes are still a little moist and sticky from Mrs Gotrocks' jelly, but I'd love to," said Inch High.

A year later, they were married and went into business together as Inch High & Jade Intelligence and Detective Agency.


	6. Chapter 6

This author believes in the Bible's account of a literal six day creation of the earth by God in around 4000BC. However, for the purposes of this fan fiction, the following scenes occurred….

Millions of years ago…

Barney Rubble and Betty were coming to the conclusion of a mild feud.

"But the bowling championships are on tonight, Betty. Fred's expecting me to compete with him," said Barney.

"Well Wilma and I are expecting you boys to take us to the Dressed-late Housewives ball. We've even organized a babysitter for Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm. If you go off to that bowling game, I'll be very disappointed."

"Well, I guess not every guy at the bowling alley is lucky enough to have a much taller beautiful doll of a wife interested in him," said Barney, "I'll do it."

"Oh Barney, you say the sweetest things," said Betty and kissed him.

"Could you do that again by the window?" asked Barney.

"Are you trying to romance me in the moonlight, Barney?" asked Betty.

"Sure, Betty. That, and I want to hear how Fred's feud with Wilma's going," said Barney.

Betty snuggled against her husband in front of the window, and both of them listened to the increasing volume from the neighbouring property.

"Nothing doing, Wilma! I'm going bowling!" said Fred.

"How am I supposed to explain to the hostess and all the other guests that my husband would rather go bowling than be seen with me at the dance?" said Wilma.

"And how am _I_ supposed to explain to all the boys in the bowling team that my wife would rather have me at a ball than bowling a ball?" asked Fred.

"Fred Flintstone, if you don't take me to that ball, I'll-"

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Fred answered the door and found himself staring into a man who looked exactly like himself.

"J. Gotrocks!" said Wilma, "I remember the time I thought you were Fred."

"And I remember the time that his business executives thought I would be able to act as his double at business meetings," said Fred.

"But I'm not J Gotrocks!" said the visitor, "I'm Rock Slagg, secret agent spy type guy."

"To think there are two people who look just like me!" said Fred.

"I just dropped by to let you know that the Green Goose alias Triple X has been tried, convicted and sent to prison, along with his two stooges Ali and Bobo," said Rock, "And also to thank you, Mr Flintstone, for posing as me and braving all sorts of dangers to carry on in my place while I was laid up with injuries. Is there anything I can do to repay you?"

"Mr Slagg, I think there is!" said Fred, "Would you like to return the favour by posing as me, so that you can take my wife to the Dressed-late Housewives ball with Barney and Betty tonight?"

"I'd be glad to, Mr Flintstone. It seems a small way to reward someone who saved the free world."

"Not at all, Rock. You'll be saving something equally important, namely my marriage."

"Are you sure your wife won't mind, Fred?" asked Rock.

"Will I mind?" asked Wilma, "To think I'll be going to the ball with a real secret agent?"

"Well if I can impersonate a trained spy, I'm sure he can impersonate me."

"Of course he can. I'll give him some tips on the way about how to be loud, rude, aggressive, immature and selfish, and he'll soon be convincing everyone that he's you."

"Very rock 'n' droll, Wilma," said Fred.

"Well your first test is to fool Barney," said Wilma, "Let's go on over."

Wilma and Rock walked over and knocked on the Rubbles' front door.

"Come on in Fred," said Barney, opening the door, "I'm sure glad you're going to the dance with me tonight and not off pretending to be that crazy spy Rock Slagg."

Betty stifled a giggle.

"I guess he's not convincing enough as Fred," said Wilma.

"Actually, we saw him arrive, when we were waiting to see how your feud turned out," said Barney.

"So you're Rock Slagg and you're coming to the ball with us," said Betty, "I had a time talking Barney into it."

"Yeah, Fred was expecting me to play on the bowling team tonight," said Barney.

"I'm happy to substitute for Fred, but what how will Fred take the news that Barney isn't playing bowling?" asked Rock Slagg.

"I'll take care of Fred," said Wilma, "The bowling team will have to use one of its reserves tonight."

So Barney, Betty, Rock Slagg and Wilma went to the Dressed-late Housewives ball, while Fred and his team won the bowling championships. Rock slept the night on Fred's couch, and then had breakfast with Fred, while Wilma slept in.

"Going to that dance, and seeing your lives makes me feel that I've been missing out on the simple family pleasures, after years of running around fighting spies and criminals," said Rock, "I don't know how to make up for lost time."

"We're all going on the furthest camping trip we've ever had, to make up for the one we didn't have when we ended up going to Paris and Rome on your Green Goose case. Why don't you join us and see how the other half lives," said Fred, "I'm off to organize the camper van hire today."

"Sounds great," said Rock, "I'd better go to the camping store and the supermarket and get some supplies of my own. Say, why don't I hire us the very latest deluxe camping van?"

"Yabba-dabba-doo!" said Fred.

The next day, Fred and Wilma and Pebbles Flintstone, Barney and Betty and Bamm-Bamm Rubble, Rock Slagg, Hoppy, and Dino the Snorkasaurus all drove off in a deluxe camper van and headed deep into the wilderness until they came to the village of chief Pondo.

Pondo welcomed them to the village, and introduced them to his adult daughter Sheera and his child son Little Rok, and their friend Tor and his pet Tog. In no time at all, Hoppy, Tog and Dino were playing happily together, while the Flintstones and Rubbles were explaining to Pondo, Tor and Sheera about Bedrock's modern enterprising success in training birds and animals to serve as household appliances, gravel pit excavators and elevators and so on.

The next day, the Flintstones, Rubbles and Rock Slagg were enjoying a picnic with Pondo's family, when the village was suddenly attacked by Vultar and his Vulture Men. They grabbed Pondo and Tor first, and flew out of reach with them on their prehistoric vultures, having seized Tor's club, before he could change. They were unaware that the club, when raised by Tor, could turn him into Mightor, but had unwittingly prevented it from happening.

"Ransack the village!" said Vultar.

"Bamm! Bamm!" said Bamm-Bamm, treating the whole thing as a game, and charging at one of the landing Vulture Men.

"Bamm-Bamm! Come back!" yelled Barney.

He was too late, to prevent the Vulture Man from snatching up Bamm-Bamm and flying off with him.

"It's up to us," said Little Rok and took out imitation Mightor masks and placed them onto his own face and the head of his red bird Ork, "Mightor!"

Little Rok flew up after the Vulture Man and swung his club at the vulture's talon, until it struck the talon hard. The vulture dropped Bamm-Bamm, while Little Rock grabbed its body and climbed onto it, to do battle with the Vulture Man.

Ork caught Bamm-Bamm and flew him back to the ground, while Little Rok, with the bravery of an innocent child, began swinging his club at the Vulture Man.

"My little brother doesn't have a chance," said Sheera, "Where's the real Mightor?"

"I could rescue all three of them, if those Vulture Men would fight at ground level, I wish I had a gadget that would enable me to fly," said Rock Slagg.

"No sooner said than done," said Barney, "I brought this along, when I heard you were getting us a bigger van."

Barney took out the primitive peddle-operated flying machine that he had invented and once used so that he and Fred could beat Wilma and Barney home after sneaking out for a night on the town in activities that wives didn't approve of.

"Brilliant," said Rock Slagg, and climbed aboard, as Barney began to peddle.

Soon Barney and Rock were aloft and gaining on the Vulture Man who was battling Little Rok on his vulture.

Rock Slagg pressed the secret button on his attaché case, and one side sprang open and struck the Vulture Man, knocking him off his Vulture to land in the stream below.

"Hop aboard, Little Rok," said Barney, and kept peddling, while Rock Slagg helped the boy onto the flying machine.

"Hey that's my pal up there!" called Fred Flintstone, "I have to help! Tog, get me up there."

Fred climbed onto Tog's back and was flown after the Vulture Men. Soon Fred and Tog closed in on the Vulture Man who had Tor. Tog dropped Fred onto the Vulture's back, and Fred then proceeded to act just as he did when he was fighting with Barney over one inanimate object or another.

"Hand that over, you club swiping ….!" yelled Fred, and tugged at Tor's club.

The Vulture Man also tugged at the club. All of this was happening high above the ground.

"I've got agrophobia," said Fred.

"You don't seem afraid of getting aggressive to me," said the Vulture Man.

"I'm scared of heights!" said Fred.

Suddenly Fred lost his footing and fell over onto the Vulture Man.

Given that Fred had not succeeded … at least not for very long … in losing the 25 pounds that had gained him television fame on the Before And After show, his overweight physique instantly knocked the Vulture Man unconscious.

"Nice going, Fred," said Tor, "Now Tog, drive the vulture down to ground level and force him to let me loose."

Tor was not keen to let anyone, least of all a loud mouth like Fred Flintstone, learn that he was Mightor..

Meanwhile, Barney, Rock Slagg and Little Rok advanced on the Vulture Man who had abducted Chief Pondo. Rock Slagg took off his trench coat and threw it over the Vulture Man, at which point it somehow demonstrated its capability of turning into a net and bound the Vulture Man.

Rock Slagg leaped onto the Vulture and took the reins, and then had the Vulture lower Pondo onto the seat he had occupied, where Pondo looked after his son while Rock flew the Vulture back to earth.

Barney and Pondo and Little Rok landed in the flying machine.

"They've freed the hostages, which means their finish. Destroy them!" yelled Vultar.

Behind a rather familiar rock, which had somehow been replicated in all of the places where Tor found himself in trouble in the past, Tor raised his club, which began to vibrate and emanate power. Tor became Mightor, and Tog became …. Well he became Tog with the ability to breathe fire. Go figure.

Mightor and Tog flew into the air and attacked the Vulture Men. Mightor gave them the worst defeat that any of his enemies had ever had.

"Now go, Vultar, and spread the word to Kragor, Kor, Brutar and all the others, that the next attack on this village will be the perpetrator's last!" said Mightor.

"Looks like Mightor saved us again," said Chief Pondo.

"But it was Rock Slagg who saved my father and little brother," said Sheera, smiling with immense gratitude.

Noticing the way Sheera looked at him, Rock Slagg recalled the twinge of jealousy he had felt of the happy marriages that the Rubbles and Flintstones had been able to parade at the Dressed-late Housewives ball. The chief's daughter was very pretty, and had shown no interest in the obviously eligible bachelor Tor during the picnic.

"Maybe we could go on a picnic of our own tomorrow," said Rock.

"I'd like that," said Sheera.

"Little Rok saved Bamm-Bamm," said Pebbles Flintstone, and kissed Little Rok on the cheek.

"Aw, girls!" said Little Rok, "Sometimes it's just not safe being Mightor."

"Well here's Tor back at last," said Sheera, "Did Mightor save you too?"

"No. Fred Flintstone did," said Tor.

"Our village is grateful to Barney and his flying machine and to the brave twins who rescued us until Mightor arrived," said Pondo.

"Actually we're not even related," said Fred, "Rock and I are just buddies, but the resemblance has come in handy both for his purposes and mine."

While the Flintstones and Rubbles returned from their camping trip, Rock Slagg stayed on in Pondo's village and continued courting Sheera, until a year later, when Pondo performed their wedding ceremony. Rock then invited Sheera to go and live with him in Paris.

"Well Tog, we haven't had a battle for a year now, since nobody dares to invade the village again," said Tor, "And it just doesn't seem the same for me without Sheera either. I think it's time for Mightor to leave, but I'll go as Tor."

Tor said his farewells to the village, then changed to Mightor and flew to Bedrock. Tor joined Fred and Barney's bowling team, and moved into Bedrock.

All was peaceful until one day, several giant women stormed into Bedrock and walked up the main street until they came to Bedrock Supermarket. They lifted the roof off the supermarket with ease, and then began lifting whole shelves up at once and emptying the food into their mouths, starting with the chocolate. When all that was gone, they finished off all the current supplies of food in the place, and then one of them (the giantess who had eaten the whole shelf of chocolate) picked up a lad who was looking at the only thing the giantesses hadn't eaten: the comic books. Wilma and Betty had never had their "charge it" shopping routines so dramatically interrupted.

The lad was soon dangled over the giant woman's mouth and then dropped into it and swallowed.

News of the disaster brought Mightor to the rescue. He flew towards the supermarket car park and addressed the giantesses.

"Who are you giants, and why are you attacking the city?" asked Mightor.

"We're wives of the Giant Hunters," said one of the giant women, "We've gone hungry so often, with our husbands busy attacking Chief Pondo's village and suffering defeats because of you. They've so often forgotten to bring home our dinners instead."

"That one's eaten one of the customers!" shouted the check-out girl, pointing to the giantess who'd eaten the boy.

Mightor flew into the giantess's mouth, down her throat, and used the light from his club to illuminate her stomach. He found the boy and flew him back up the giantess's throat and out of her mouth and down to the ground.

"I twice defeated your husbands, and I now warn you to leave this city and return to your mountain home," said Mightor.

"I'm covered in chocolate," said the boy.

"You were eaten by the same one who finished off all the chocolate," said Wilma, "Why did she want chocolate so much?"

"It's supposed to take the place of … something," said the giant woman, "I'm the only one who's not a Giant Hunter's wife. I'm still single. There was one Giant Hunter too few for me to get married."

"I know someone who came from the village I used to protect," said Mightor, "He too found himself the odd bachelor out recently. I'm sure I could hollow out a large mountain on the outskirts of Bedrock to serve as a suitable home for both of you, if he's interested. Why don't you wait just outside the city and see what he says."

"I will," said the giantess.

"As for the rest of you," said Mightor, "The word is out that my old village is out of bounds to invaders. So your husbands will probably be out preparing your meals even as we speak. You need only return to them and never bother Bedrock again."

The giantesses left Bedrock, except for the one who had temporarily eaten the boy customer, who was soon visited in a field outside Bedrock, not by Mightor, but by Tor.

"I'm Tor, formerly of Chief Pondo's village," said Tor, "Would you like to go on a date?"

"I'd be happy to," said the giantess, "My name is Annie Mayte."

Soon Tor and Annie Mayte married and settled down in the giant cave that Mightor had carved for them. Her giant size enabled her to be the bread winner, doing the work of several men and dinosaurs in the gravelpit, and Tor would do the shopping and bring her home plentiful supplies of food from the Bedrock supermarket. One day she said that she wanted to have a marital discussion about food.

"You're younger and cuter than any of the giants that my fellow giantesses married," she said, "And you bring home lots of nice small cuts of meat, but there are times when I'd like to swallow a whole piece of tasty meat all at once. Would you mind if I ate you every now and then, so long as I made sure to cough you up afterwards?"

Tor agreed and enjoyed married life. There were no further calls for Mightor's assistance at Pondo's village, but there were still criminals in Bedrock, and Tor no longer wanted to turn into Mightor and leave his lovable giant wife. One day, while taking a walk on his own to pondo… err… ponder the problem, he came across a fairly short unshaven man who worked at Bedrock's newspaper company.

"I have this club, which possesses great power," said Tor, "But married life keeps me from using it, and Bedrock needs a super hero. Would you like to take over from Mightor."

"You mean you Mightor! Me love to be super hero, but me not look like Mightor, and me can't call me Chester when me am super hero. Me shall be CAPTAIN CAAAAAAAAAVEMAAAAAAAAN!" said the short hairy gentleman.

"Why not? We'll just let the citizens of Bedrock think that Mightor retired," said Tor, "And nobody but you and I will know that Mightor's club was passed onto Captain Caveman. My friends Barney and Fred both have wives who have been looking for jobs lately, now that their kids are starting to go to school. Do you think that you could use them at the newspaper company?"

"Sure. Me tell chief he can finally have new secretaries he want for so long," said Chester, and was soon working with Betty and Wilma each working day, and hiding his secret identity of Captain Caveman from them.

When she reached middle age, Mrs Sheera Slagg was exposed to the rays of Hanna's Comet, which stopped her from aging. As time went on, Rock Slagg grew old and died, and Sheera moved out of Paris and took on a new identity in another country. She had kept her looks well, even at the time that she'd stopped aging, so that she looked a lot younger than her age had been at that point. She had no trouble attracting a younger man and enjoying many happy years with him.

She continued this process throughout the centuries, and eventually became the wife of a much older man named Kincaid, and, for the first time, found herself wanting children. In the past she had chosen husbands who had expressed no interest in having children. However, this time, she married Kincaid, and gave birth to a boy named Reuben. Not long after that, Kincaid died, and she remarried a man named Renfrew and gave birth to a girl named Shirley.

Shirley married a Mr Partridge, and had five children. Mr Partridge soon died too, and Sheera (under her latest name of Mrs Renfrew) would often find herself turning to Shirley for help to cope with the instability of modern marriages.

Mrs Renfrew introduced Reuben Kincaid to the Partridge Family, and he became the manager of their singing group. Around 1974, Reuben and Shirley and her five children all inherited Mrs Renfrew's (formerly Sheera Slagg's) ageless qualities and stopped aging.

By the year 2200AD they were still the same ages, and then their ageless qualities, being inherited rather than directly acquired from Hanna's Comet, wore off. The world had aged and progressed around them, and they finally began aging again at normal rates. Keith Partridge married a young girl around his own apparent age, named Judy Jetson, and together they launched Keith's latest hit song: _"Won't you play drums, Bill Spacely?"_

As for Sheera? Well, with Mr Renfrew long dead, Sheera stayed single for a few more years, and then began to notice that the teenaged Elroy Jetson had definite possibilities as her latest husband.


	7. Chapter 7

While relaxing on the beach of an isolated island, Quin, Brock, Pete and Captain Majors were surprised to see Godzilla and Godzookie emerging from the ocean. As Godzookie got closer, he flew above the water and came to rest beside them, and handed them the signaling device.

"Didn't we leave both of them and the signaler in the Lost Valley of the Dinosaurs several chapters back?" asked Quin.

"Maybe Agrader has lost one of his own plots," said Brock.

Godzookie gave Pete a big hug, and Pete was the one who understood.

"They came and found us, because they missed us!" he said.

"I guess we were wrong about them wanting to stay in the Valley," said Captain Majors, "It's easy enough to misunderstand a pair of dinosaurs, given that they don't speak English."

And so the team was reunited, until that fateful day when Brock and Captain Majors grew tired of Godzookie's disruptive antics.

"That's it! We're taking him to the pet shop," said Captain Majors, and under a few protestations from Pete, they sailed for the mainland, and went in and sold Godzookie to the pet shop owned by Mr Peebles.

Before they could depart, Yellow Pinkie, Hi Spy, Many Faces, Iron Face, Eric Von Flick, Red Vulture, Beastwoman, the Blimp and the Prophet entered the shop.

"We never got your check," said Red Vulture, "Nobody defies the Legion of Squirrel Enemies Reinforced By Anti Dynomuttists."

"That's L.O.S.E.R.B.A.D. for short," said Hi Spy, "We're all old foes of either Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole or Blue Falcon and Dynomutt We told you to pay protection to our legion or we'd be back."

With that, the Blimp and the Prophet began knocking over empty animal cages. Captain Majors' team tried to fight them off, but Eric Von Flick pressed a button and the shop was suddenly lifted off its foundations by a huge metal ape.

"Now the rest of you back off and Peebles empties the till, or I'll have Tin Kong carry us away and crush this whole store," said Von Flick.

"We'll see about that," said Captain Majors, "I'm not bad with buttons myself."

And he pressed the signaler device, which called Godzilla. Before the members of LOSERBAD had any idea what was about to trounce them, the gigantic dinosaur lumbered into the street and approached Tin Kong. Inside, Von Flick's assistants were too frightened to keep carrying Peebles' Pet Shop. They had the metal monster put it down in the middle of a wide street, completely blocking what little traffic might have made its way past the ensuing battle of giants, and began to wrestle with Godzilla.

Godzilla was winning on strength alone, but he peeked into the glass eyes of the giant mechanical ape and knew that it was controlled by evil men who needed to be captured. Using his laser vision, he blasted the neck of Tin Kong, until he was able to pull of the head. He emptied the criminals out onto the footpath, and then crushed the remains of Tin Kong into a compact size ready for disposal.

Suddenly Godzilla turned against his friends and started roaring ferociously.

"My Beast whistle can control any animal," said Beastwoman, who had just taken control of Godzilla.

All things considered, it was just as well that Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole were not on the trail of Hi Spy and Yellow Pinkie, or they too would have been susceptible to Beastwoman's animal control whistle.

"But can any animal hear it?" came the voice of Blue Falcon, who swung in with Dynomutt, "We've had our eye on our old foes, and followed them here. We were about to pounce on this protection racket, when Godzilla saved us the trouble. Use your petty device grabber, Dog Wonder."

"Roger, old Blue Buddy," said Dynomutt, and opened his chest.

"Out came a rapid fire succession of popping corn, which hit several of the villains and several of the good guys in the face.

"Oops, goofed again," said Dynomutt, "I wondered what happened to my automatic popcorn popper stopper after I lost it."

"Never mind," sighed Blue Falcon, "At least your popcorn missed me and hit Many Faces."

Blue Falcon was able to get hold of Many Faces' Sinister Symphony recording, and start it playing. The sound drowned out Beastwoman's beast whistle, freeing up Godzilla from her control. Of course, it also managed to put almost everyone else to sleep for a while, except for Blue Falcon and Dog Wonder, who used their Dyno-muffs on their ears. They tied up all the villains and relieved them of their paraphernalia, and introduced themselves to Peebles and Captain Majors' team.

At Pete's request, Godzilla put the Peebles Pet Shop back in its proper position and then had a conference with Godzookie in dinosaur language. Godzookie used sign language to say that Godzilla wanted to stay outside the store and guard it, until Godzookie was sold to someone with property large enough to accommodate both of them, so that they could stay together. As Captain Majors and Brock were unwilling to go back on their decision to be rid of Godzookie, they had to accept Godzilla's decision to stay at the Pet Shop. They handed the members of LOSERBAD over to the police, who worked with both Focus One of Big City and Double Q (the employers of Blue Falcon and Secret Squirrel respectively) to have the criminals tried and incarcerated.

Majors and his team went back to their retirement from adventure, leaving Godzilla taking up a permanent position outside Peebles Pet Store (except when he went off to take dips in the ocean), and Godzookie waiting inside to be sold as part of a package deal. Since Godzilla was the more marketable part of the package, and the one getting the most attention, Peebles hired Bill & Joe's Musical Advertising Agency to come up with a song to advertise him. It went like this:

"_We've got a Godzilla for sale:_

_A thrilling Godzilla for sale._

_Giant, mighty, known to behave,_

_And right here to save._

_See on the street front, big, tall and real,_

_He's full of appeal._

_If you want a huge Godzilla you can call your own,_

_Just press the signal button in the danger zone,"_ sang Bill and Joe.

"How much is that Godzilla in the window?" asked a little girl called Ogee, right on queue.

"_For one great price,_

_He'll conquer vice._

_Just signal him with Quin's device._

_Godzilla is really for sale!" sang Bill and Joe._

Eventually the two dinosaurs and the signaling device were bought by a Mr Whinchly of Bubbleland aquatic theme park, where they would perform with Squiddly Diddly for the many tourists and visitors. As Squiddly somehow spoke both English and the language of aquatic animals, he was able to translate between Winchly and the dinosaurs whenever necessary.

Chapter End Notes: Agrader Advisory Services wish to remind all viewers that Godzilla and Godzookie are not gods, just green dinosaurs with peculiar names.


End file.
